


Alone

by Jinxous



Category: The Flash
Genre: Abandonment, College AU, F/M, M/M, Multi, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-18 15:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11877213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinxous/pseuds/Jinxous
Summary: Barry Allen didn't grow up like normal kids. His parents didn't want him, so Barry spent his do juvenile years in an orphanage. Now, as a bright college student, Barry tackles the bigger issues in life; friendship, socializing, and crushes on his best friends brother and his boyfriend. Sadly these are no longer his biggest issues once the letters from his supposed parents begin to haunt him.





	1. Chapter 1

There alway that one couple in school that everyone knows about, those two people that are so good together that everyone knows about that. For Barry, that wasn't him. That was his roommate's girlfriend’s brother, or otherwise known at Leonard Snart and his boyfriend Mick Rory. Even in college they were still together, Barry watching them on a regular bases. Barry wasn't the most outspoken person, in fact he was a severe introvert. His therapist told him it was a result from some abandonment issues he had. When Barry was a baby his parent put him up for adoption, not many couples wanted to adopt him when they saw his list of requirements. Of course this didn't go away when he grew up, he just became a little more social, making a couple friends. His friends still had no idea of his childhood, sure Cisco and Caitlin talked about their vacations and families, Barry loved hearing them complain about their sibling and parents, but no one ever wanted to know about Barry. He didn't mind though, he never had any stories. He was spoiled, didn't have any favorite toys or books. He only had his baby blanket, the only thing he ever received from his parents.

Barry currently sat, curled up on the sofa as Caitlin, Cisco, Lisa, Len, and Mick wrapped Christmas gifts to their loved ones, Barry sipping cocoa as he watched them complain. Cisco had the most challenging things by far, wrapping a triangle shaped box. “Is that one for Dante?” Barry asked, Cisco looking back at him from the floor.

“I don't even know anymore.” He said, throwing his hands up. “Why aren't you wrapping?”

“I've already gotten all of mine taken care of.”

“Family too? I thought that's what today was for.”

“My family doesn't celebrate Christmas, religious reasons.”

“What, so this is like your first celebration?” Lisa said, mouth dropping.

“Yep, so I hope you guys like what I got you.”

“I think that's the first thing you've said about your parents, at least to me.” Caitlin said.

“We aren't exactly close.” Barry said, taking another drink.

“What do they do?”

“Just normal work.”

“Dude, could we meet them? Maybe stay at your place over spring break?” Cisco said, Barry staring at his roommate.

“Not enough space. Anyone want cocoa?” Barry said, picking his mug up in his hand.

“I could take a glass.” Len said, smiling over at Barry.

“Me too.” Lisa said, standing. “Let me help you carry them.” Lisa smiled as she collected glasses. 

“Lots of mini marshmallows sis.” Len said, Mick wrapping an arm around his boyfriend. Shifting his glasses Barry collected the mugs Lisa couldn't and led the way to the kitchen. They cluttered as they hit the counter, Barry brushing his hair back. It had gotten long way to fast, long enough that Barry had a small nub of a ponytail.

“Barry, do you want to join my family for Christmas? We’re best friends and we've never met each other's parents.”

“No thanks. I was going to stay here and read comics till second semester.” The duo poured the powder and mixed the cocoa. They placed them all into the microwave without managing to spill them.

“Come on Barry. We have this get together with Lenny’s mom and my mom. It'll be fun.”

“I'm just not into family things Lisa. I'm just going to stay, but I hope you enjoy it.”

“If you change your mind you have my number.”

“I'll be fine.” Barry said, watching the timer on the microwave.

“Okay, but if you change your mind at all.”

“I'll let you or Cisco know.” The microwave beeped, Barry and Lisa taking them out of the microwave. They carried them back into the living room, their first sight being Cisco with tape around his fingers.

“Did you guys want to stay the night? We still got a lot to get through and it's already late.” The group looked at the time, Lisa jumping at the chance.

“Only if I get to room with Cisco.”

“I don't want to hear anything.” Len said, crossing his arms.

“You guys can stay in my room, I have a futon.” Barry said, handing Mick and Len their cocoa, Len smiling up at the younger man, touching Barry’s hand. 

“I don't think it's the best idea, but thank you for the offer.”

“It's no issue.”

“Me and Mick like to sleep naked, so we’ll take our leave.” Barry nodded, pouting, but turning to Caitlin.

“What about you Caitlin?”

“Ronnie’s coming to get me or else I would Barry.”

“No, it's fine. As long as you get home safe, that's important.”

“Can I leave my gifts here Barry? At least the ones for Ronnie?” Barry smiled, the girl holding her mug. She blew into it, taking a sip. 

“Of course Cait.” He said, taking a seat beside her. 

“I don't know about you guys but I think I got the perfect gift for everyone.” Cisco said, Lisa and Caitlin rolling their eyes.

“I don't know, I might have you beat Cisco.” Barry said, smiling over at Lisa. 

“I think I've got both of you beat.” Lisa said, looking over at Len. “Especially for my cold-hearted, but cuddly big brother.”

“Train wreck.” Len said, Mick drinking his cocoa. The rest of the night went by peacefully, the group leaving a little after one, Lisa and Cisco heading upstairs as soon as the others left. Barry cleaned the mugs, shutting off the downstairs lights. Grabbing the mail from the day Barry skimmed through it, coming to a letter, his name on the front. Taking the letter he sat the rest of the mail on the bookshelf and going up the stairs. Opening the letter he walked into his bedroom, locking himself in.

“Dear Bartholomew,

My name is Henry, I'm your biological father. Your biological mother, Nora, and I have sent you several letters this year and have not heard back. We would like to meet you. There is so much we would like to discuss with you, so please get in touch with us. Our number and return address is on the back of the envelope. Please get in touch with us Bartholomew, we would really like to get to know our son.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love,

Henry and Nora Allen”

Barry stood from his bed, walking to his desk he put the letter in the shredder, joining the other letters. Turning he walked back to his bed, grabbing his comforter. Wrapping himself up he laid on the ground. It was the way he slept at the home growing up, it made him warm and feel safe after the chill his parents gave him. Soon he nodded off, waking up to a frantic Cisco banging on his door. Looking at the clock Barry noticed they woke up late for class, Barry instantly going into a dead sprint, letter forgotten.


	2. Chapter 2

Barry awoke up, feet freezing, cheeks stinging with the brush of cold. Looking around Barry saw white covering the ground. It was quiet, other than the sound of winter wind, a blizzard coming down. “Barry!” He finally heard his name break through the blizzard wind. Hands had a hard grip on his shoulders, Cisco looking at him worriedly. He turned him around and led Barry back into their house, the cold finally setting in. When they got inside Lisa wrapped Barry in a blanket, herself shivering from the lack of pants. Cisco locked and bolted the door before he sat his friend down on the couch.

“Barry are you alright?” Lisa asked, already sitting beside her friend and pulling him into a hug.

“Just cold. S-sorry about that.”

“You're sleepwalking outside now. I'll add a couple locks on tomorrow.” Cisco said, Barry shaking. “I'll turn the temp up and get you a lot more blankets.”

“Call Caitlin, ask her what we could use to warm him up at a safe rate.”

“No! Don't bother her.”

“I'll go draw a bath.” Lisa said, brushing her hand through Barry's frozen hair. She got up, rushing from the bathroom.

“You scared us man.”

“How'd you find me?” Barry asked as he cuddled up against Cisco.

“You were screaming Barry. You were screaming bloody murder. I had a hard time waking you up. What were you dreaming about?”

“I…I don't remember.” Barry mumbled, closing his eyes for the moment.

 

The next day Lisa, Cisco, and Barry were walking to the school cafe after finishing their last class, having a couple hours before they had practice. Barry and Lisa did figure skating, but Barry agreed that Lisa was the best out of them both, hell the whole team. They were sitting in the cafe, Caitlin just finishing her shift for the day had joined them with her own drink. 

“So Barry was out in the snow and just kept screaming?” She asked after Cisco had told her what happened, much to Barry's liking.

“Yeah it took us a while to snap him out of it.”

“Usually we let him wander back to bed, but he wasn't coming back at all. We didn't know how long he was out there and didn't know if he had any frostbite.”

“I just forgot to take my sleeping pills last night. It's not a big problem.”

“I just don't feel safe for you being left alone for a couple weeks.” Lisa said, patting Barry on the hand. 

“Don't worry Lisa. I got a new script filled, just gotta pick it up before practice.”

“I wish you'd come with us to our mom’s house for the next few weeks.”

“Lisa-.” Barry was cut off when a hand landed on his shoulder. Turning he was greeted with a smile from Len, a blush lightly appearing.

“You're not coming? Lisa was so excited.”

“I-I can't.”

“Do you have plans kid?” Len asked, no one noticing his hand sliding down to grip Barry’s arm. “Or are we not cool enough to hang around with.”

“N-no. I just…I have a…doctor’s appointment.”

“Well, that's a bummer. I was hoping we'd have a fun person joining, trust me Cisco is a bore.”

“Oh please, you would be too busy having sex with Mick to hang with us. From what I understand mom's working on soundproofing your room.” Len smirked, letting go of Barry as he sat down next to the boy. 

“Where's Mick at?” He asked, Len huffing.

“He had a call so he had to go. Didn't know how many fires there could be in this town. Well I love my man in a uniform, the teachers always go easy on him when he runs out of the room.”

“Is Axel joining us?” Cisco asked, Barry’s wandering to Caitlin, whom stood and walked away without anyone noticing, aside from Barry. She was back in a couple minutes with her boyfriend Ronnie.

“That things over with, kid wasn't our type after all.”

“Isn't that like your six fling this year?” Ronnie asked, making his presence known.

“Yah, but the others are assholes.”

“Maybe it's suppose to just be you and Mick then.” Lisa said, Barry’s finger twisting into his sweater as he bit the inside of his lip.

“Where have you been hiding Raymond?”

“Professor Stein’s class. That man can talk about quantum theories all day.” He said, Cisco cutting in.

“But they're fascinating…they start fights with Dr. Well’s all the time.”

“So, what's everyone's plans for break? Cait and I are going to my families for Christmas.”

“We’re all going to Len’s and Lisa’s mom's, well except Barry who has a doctor’s appointment.” Cisco said, eyes shifting to the young man. 

“What about after? Meeting up with your family?”

“Nope. We don't celebrate, plus a friend of the family is sick so my parents aren't home.”

“So you're spending another Christmas alone.”

“It gives me time to clean up the house.” Barry said with a smiling, Len looking at Barry with a worried look, looking over at Lisa. “Look, I've got to go to town before practice, I'll see you at practice.” With that Barry left, leaving his friends in the warm cafe.

Barry hadn't lied to his friends, but hadn't been truthful. He did need to go get his prescription refills, but he also had a therapist appointment. Barry had had these visits since before college. He had gone when the nuns from his orphanage managed to see how Barry didn't open up. After they tried what they could they brought in a therapist to help Barry. “Mr. Allen?” The young man snapped out of it, looking at the older man. “You were talking about your sleepwalking incident the prior night.”

“Right. All I remember is being shaken awake by Cisco. Usually he lets me walk until I go back to bed.”

“What was different this time?” 

“I was outside in the blizzard, screaming.”

“That's different. You've never been outside before.”

“Lately I've been stressed. I think that's why.”

“Yes, that could be a possibility Mr. Allen. Stress does have an extraordinary impact on our psyche. What had you stressed?”

“Lately I have been getting letters…letters from my biological parents. They want to reconnect with me.”

“Do you?”

“No, far from it. My whole life I have had no one. No one except the sisters at the orphanage. Until recently I had no friends, no family. My parents didn't want me when I was a baby and that was their decision. That decision has messed me up. I have insecurities, I'm shy, I can't…I can't talk to my friends about it. I have a crush on these two guys at school and can't even look at them. I don't want them in my life now, not after all these years.”

“That's why you're here Mr. Allen, to help you face these issues at your own pace.”

“Do you think I should meet them?”

“Do you remember why the sisters brought you to me?”

“Because I was self-harming and I wasn't getting better.”

“Do you remember what I said to you?”

“You told me, life is what we make it. We make what we want to happen and bad things will follow. Life's not fair, but you can turn it around by not drowning yourself in the negative.” Barry sighed. “And I've been doing that Dr. Hunter, I've made friends that I trust because you helped me. Just…what should I do?”

“If you don't want to see them then don't. But I think you're stressed because they keep sending these letters, which would stop if you were to send a letter back requesting that they stop. I think you're afraid to hurt their feelings Barry, and it's not a bad thing, it's your nature. Maybe you should go away for holiday break this year Mr. Allen, your friends must be doing things.”

“I just want to stay in bed.”

“That's your depression talking Barry. Go and have fun with your friends.

“No, it'll make me even more stressed.” Barry said, laying his head on the armrest of the sofa. 

“Why?”

“Because my friend Lisa, who invited me to stay over break, her brother and his boyfriend are who I have a crush on. I'd probably have to room with them.”

“That's a bad thing?”

“They sleep naked.” Barry said, blushing.

“Oh the sexual drive of adolescence. What is it that you like about them?”

“This may take awhile.” Barry said, sitting back up. Dr. Hunter turned to a new page in his books, giving him a smile. 

“Go ahead.” He said, and Barry took off on a rant about the two men and their relationship, as well as the emotional strain it left on Barry. By the time they finished it was dark out and Barry felt ten times better than he had walking in. Once he reach home though he was thrown into a stressful situation. Walking in he was greeted by Lisa yelling at him.

“Where have you been?! You missed practice and wouldn't answer your phone! We were about to go on a search since the cops in this town could careless!” Barry almost stumbled back as she grabbed Barry by the jacket, tears of, what Barry assumed was, relief and anger shined in her eyes. Looking around he saw Cisco, Caitlin, Ronnie, Mick, and Len stood around a map on the table, as well as a friend of Cisco’s from his criminology courses, Iris West. No one looked happy, more angry and relieved than anything.

“I got a call from my doctor, he had a cancellation today. I told him about that issues I was having and he prescribed something stronger. I took it when I came home to get my bag, but I nodded off. I woke up after practice had already started and decided to go grab dinner. My phones been off since.”

“Not a smart move Barry Allen! Don't ever do it again. I demand a message. Coach thinks you spent the last hour with you head in the toilet throwing up bad sushi.” Lisa huffed, but pulled Barry into a hug.

“I promise Lisa. I'm actually still tired from the pills, so I'm going to go to bed, that way I'll be up in time to help you guy load bags tomorrow.”

“Fine, just don't run off again.” She said, letting go of Barry. The younger took off towards the stairs, grabbing the mail. You guys can stay, I have a spare futon upstairs.” He said as he ran up the stairs, shuffling the mail, stopping when he grabs a familiar pink envelope with his name on it. Opening it Barry pulled the letter out, reading it as he walked into his bedroom.

“Dear Barry,

It's your father, Henry, again. Your mother and I haven't heard from you yet. We were hoping that we'd receive a letter before we came to talk to you. Your mother and I don't want you spending your Christmas alone again this year. We're coming to your university and would love to meet up and spend the holidays together. By the time this letter reaches you we’ll probably be in Keystone City. We look forward to meeting you.

Love,

Henry and Nora Allen.”

Barry didn't waste anytime putting the left through the shredder. His heart was beating fast, Barry was almost unable to hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. Peaking out Barry saw Caitlin, Iris, and Lisa coming up the stairs, just talking about the spare room they had. “Hey Lisa.” He caused the girls to turn, they obviously expecting Barry to be in bed. “Is that offer still good? Doctor said I needed stress relief.” A smile came to the girl's face, Barry already making for a bag to pack. Lisa took a break from showing the girls to the spare room to help Barry pack, but they didn't mind as they watch the two run around like kids, rushing to pack a back for Barry. All Barry knew was that he'd be avoiding his parents and possibly getting a glimpse of Len and Mick naked, which he really hoped he could room with them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's wondering, this is an older version of Amaya, not the one from Legends, she's around late 40's early 50's.

Barry had woke with a start as the car came to a halt. He saw darkness, strands of light breaking through. Has he breath in he felt something stiff hit his lips. “Wake up sleepy heads we’re here.” A groan came from beside him, then the darkness was lifted. Lisa sat up, brushing her hair over her shoulder. Looking over he saw Cisco making a disgusted face as he pulled a strand of hair out of his mouth. Sitting up Barry rubbed his face, Cisco stretching as his arms, Lisa already having a mirror out to fix her makeup. Looking up Barry saw Len and Mick already out of the car.

Getting out Barry followed th to the trunk to retrieve his bags. Just as Lisa slid out the front door to the home opened up, Barry hearing two squealing women. Looking over he saw Lisa hugging two woman, a big smile coming onto his face. Len walked out from behind the car, his bags hanging off his shoulders. He was pulled into the group hug, Barry looking over to see Cisco looking at the family. Turning back to the bags Barry reached to grab his bags and Lisa’s when a hand reached around and grabbed Lisa’s. Turning he was created by Mick, a smirk on his face.

“I'll get it pretty boy.” He said, Barry still frozen at how close Mick was to him. He managed to crack a smile. Mick pulled away, taking Lisa’s bag. The women smiled, pulling Mick into a hug. Cisco joined them, leaving Barry to grab his friends bags. Closing the trunk Barry walked around the car to the group, standing off to the side Barry waited to move. One of the women spotted Barry, smiling at him.

“And who his this adorable young man?” She said, Barry smiling, blushing.

“This is Barry Allen. He's my best friend from figure skating.” Lisa said, Barry sitting a bag down to shake the women's hands.

“Now Barry, this is a home of hugs.” The other woman said, both women hugging Barry, the young man awkwardly accepting the hug. Pulling away the darker haired women looking at him.

“Are you related to Doctor Henry Allen from Central?” Barry's eyes twitched, but he smiled. 

“No. My dad’s an only child and his names Gregory.”

“I guess it's a common name. I'm Christina, I'm Lenny's mom.”

“I'm Sherri, I'm Lisa’s mother.” 

“It's nice to meet you.” 

“Well, it's cold out here so let's get everyone inside for some lunch.” Sherri said, moving the group inside, Cisco taking his bags from Barry. 

Inside Barry stood in the living room as the group of college students rushed upstairs to put their things away. Standing he looked around at the house, Len and Lisa’s mom’s heading to the kitchen. Sitting down on the sofa Barry looked down at his bag. “Barry! Are you coming up!?” Lisa yelled.

“Yah, I'll be right up.” Barry stood up, grabbing his bag and running up the stairs. When he got up the stairs he was greeted with several bedroom’s Lisa poking her head out of one. 

“Do you mind sharing with Mick and Len?”

“I can do that…if they're alright with it.”

“We’ll be fine as long as you have a blindfold and headphones.” Len said as he came up behind Barry, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Yah.” Barry said, ducking into the bedroom. “Hey Lisa! I got some friends to visit while we’re in Central. Tomorrow I won't be here for a few hours!”

“That's cool, just text me regularly.”

“I will.” Barry said, placing his bag on the floor. “Where can I sleep?” He asked over his shoulder.

“We have a futon in Lisa's room we can bring in.” 

“Cool…is it all alright if I use the bathroom to brush my teeth.”

“Yeah, its downstairs, first door past the kitchen, on the right.”

“Thanks, I'll be back up in a few.” With that Barry walked past the men once more, rushing down the stairs. Reaching the bottom he turned, walking past the kitchen into a hallway. As he walked past the kitchen he saw the two moms cooking, talking amongst each other. He knocked on the door frame, catching their attention Barry smiled. “After I'm done brushing my teeth can I help you? I really like cooking.” Christina smiled, crossing her arm.

“Why couldn't this be one of the kids boyfriend. Of course you can help us. Like I say, the more, the faster shit gets done.” She said, getting a chuckle out of Barry, Sherri rolling her eye and continued cutting vegetables.”

“I'll be back in a few minutes.” Barry said, rushing to the bathroom. He returned minutes later, throwing on an apron and help knead the dough. 

 

“So Barry.” Sherri said, Barry looking at her as he now rolled the dough into hot dog shaped rolls. “Did your mom teach you to cook?”

“No.” Barry said, picking up the knife and began cutting little sections off. “My aunt Amaya did. She took care of me a lot more than my parents. When I was a kid she was my best friend.”

“That's good that you have such a close relationship with your aunt.”

“She'd spoil me, I'm hoping I can catch her tomorrow when I run out.”

“Well I'm sure she'll be happy to see you.” Christina said. “God it's like you have to beg Len and Lisa to come home more. They'd rather stay with their boyfriends.”

“Can I asked…is their father in the picture? Was he a sperm donor? Sorry if it's a personal question.”

“Lewis Snart was only good for his sperm, nothing else.” 

“Whenever he could last long enough.” Sherri said, the two women laughing, Barry joining in. “He's in jail now, pretty long sentence too.”

“Was he a bad man?”

“He was abusive as a husband, a dirty cops in the streets. He hit my baby once and I got help.” Christina said, chopping up a carrot a little too aggressively. “Central City cops were wrapped around his finger, so we got help from a detective in Keystone. They arrested him at work, embarrassed him in front of his brother in blue.”

“Served him right, Lenny had nightmares for months.”

“His grown into a nice young man. One I'm glad to be a friend of his.”

“He's not big on talking about him, so don't bring it up in front of him or Lisa.”

“I won't.” Barry said are he flattened out the balls of dough, Sherri putting in small amounts of filling.

“Whatcha ya cooking mom?” Lisa asked at she came around the corner, surprised to see Barry in an apron, covered in flour. 

“Noodles and dumplings. Barry is amazing help, you must bring around more.” Lisa came over, running her finger in the excess flour, swiping Barry across the cheek.

“Did Mick and Lenny already start breaking in the room again?”

“I don't know, I just wanted to help out.” Barry said, mimicking Lisa and swiping flour on her cheek.

“No flour fights before dinner, afterwards you can clean up the mess.” Christina said, Lisa spending the rest of the time in the kitchen till dinner was served. As the remaining three shuffled down the stairs Christina nudges Sherri, getting Lisa’s attention as well. “Want to see Len get embarrassed.” Hearing this Barry looked up, the three men coming into the kitchen. “Lenny, Mickey! You need to marry this one, he knows how to keep conversation and cook like an angel.”

“Nice try mom, you know my policy on family friends and relationship. No offense Barry, but we don't date Lisa’s friends.” Barry felt a pain in his heart, but he brushed it off with a smile.

“That's okay, you're not my type. I like a person who has a sense of humor.” Cisco made a “wooing” sound and yelled “burn” as Barry picked up the plate of finished dumplings, making an exit as Sherri joined Cisco, making the group laugh, even Len.

Dinner went smoothly, more smoothly than sharing the shower/bath with five people. I'm the end Barry went first, laying down with his earbuds in, music playing loud enough to block out the world. He was pulled to darkness as the world calmed down around him. Mick and Len just cuddling in their sleep, that is until Mick woke up, needing to use the bathroom. He was groggy getting up, Len taking his space as soon as he stood. Getting up Mick shuffled across the hall to take care of his business, coming back into the room, taking in his surroundings. In his bed Len was cuddling his pillow in the center of the bed. Groaning he looked over to the futon in the room, tired Mick thought it'd be a wise idea to sleep next to Barry instead of fighting his boyfriend for territory. When he didn't see Barry he instantly got concerned. He knew Barry hadn't been in the bathroom or in the kitchen. Walking over to Len he peered out the window that faced the street. Outside he saw Barry in his pajamas, just standing outside. Immediately Mick woke Len, shaking the man roughly until his angrily woke up, Mick keeping constant sight on Barry.

“I swear Mick if you woke me up for a midnight blow job I'm going to cut your dick off.” The younger man growled, rubbing his eyes clear.

“Len, the kids out in the snow. He's just standing there.” At this Len stood, stretching as he looked out the window. Sure enough Barry stood outside, the cold winter wind almost blowing him away.

“I'll go wake Cisco, you keep an eye on him.” Len ran across the hall, practically jumping on Cisco. The young man sprung up Lisa jumping up as well. “Ramon, Barry’s outside in the snow.” Cisco glared as the words settled, immediately him and Lisa jumped up. The three headed downstairs and out the door. Barry was now on the ground, rubbing something in the snow frantically.

“Barry!?” Lisa yelled, Cisco trying to see around at what Barry was doing.

“Gotta clean it.” 

“Clean what Barry.” 

“I gotta clean the silverware. Gotta make sure it's clean.” Barry cried, Cisco catching sight of dark snow, something shining in it. He placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder, which seemed to be the worst idea as Barry erupted into screams. Barr brought up his hands, the object clenched in his hands being the knife from dinner. Cisco raised his hands, looking at the young man that seemed to be stuck in a nightmare. 

“Barry! Barry! You've got to wake up Barry! You're having a nightmare!” Cisco yelled, Lisa holding her brothers hand as their mothers ran outside. 

“Barry wake up!” Lisa yelled, but was drowned out by screams. Finally Cisco kneeled down, rolling up a snowball, and chucking it at Barry, hitting him on the face. Immediately Barry’s eyes sprung open, staring up at the people towering over him. He looked down, spotting the knife in his hand, as well as the bloody cut up hands. 

“What happened?”

“No one's hurt Barry, we just need to get inside, into a nice warm bath.” Lisa said, Barry dropping the knife as he stood up with as little of use from his hand. Once inside Mick met them in the bathroom, first aid in hand. Barry sat in his pajamas in the warm water, Mick cleaning his wounds.

“Luckily and miraculously you won't need stitches, just need to wrap them and make sure they don't get infected.”

“I'm so sorry, I just forgot my meds tonight.”

“Barry it's alright. Just take them right now and we’ll clean up everything tomorrow.” Lisa said, pulling Barry into a hug as her friend began to break down.

“Can…can we forget this happened and I'll apologize to your moms tomorrow.”

“They're just worried. Your sleepwalking never been this bad.”

“I just need my meds and I'll be out peacefully.”

“Let's go get you changed and to bed.” Lisa said, helping Barry stand.

“Lis, we’ll get him changed and get him back to bed.”

“Okay, just make him take his sleeping pills.”

“Don't worry, you guys go back to bed.”

“Just make sure he takes them.” Lisa said, Cisco pulling her toward the stairs. Mick lifted Barry into his arms, his bare chest getting wet from the water. Barry snuggled up against Mick, Len emptying the tub before leaving the bathroom to dry. They'd have a bloody mess to clean up. When he got up to their room, Barry was asleep on the futon, curled up under the comforter, a bottle of pills on the TV stand beside him. Len joined Mick, the older man just watching Barry sleep. Climbing into bed Len let Mick cuddle up against him, smiling at the man's lack of pants.

“I thought we'd sleep in pants while Barry was here?”

“Kids out like a light, go ahead and take yours off.”

“I think I don't want to scare the kid anymore than he already is. Let's just go to bed and we’ll take to him about it tomorrow.” The older man groaned, but not minutes later was asleep against Len’s back, the younger nodding off not long after.

 

When the house woke again Barry was already gone from the futon. Mick threw his pants back on, running down after Len to find Barry making breakfast with Len and Lisa’s mom's, the bathroom already cleaned of any blood. At the smell of food Lisa and Cisco joined the group, Lisa already mothering Barry about his meds. The younger was flushed and apologizing over and over. Though they didn't speak to one another Mick and Len knew they monitor Barry's medicine intake, making sure he took the right medicine to sleep on.

“So I have to get going to my friends house, I'll text you later and let you know when I'm on my way back.”

“Don't take long, you know Lisa will worry.” Cisco said, Lisa smacking him upside the head.

“Be careful out there Barry.” Len said, the younger nodding, but avoiding his eyes. Barry left, the room letting out a sigh as the door shut.

 

It took Barry around an hour to reach the building he'd been looking for. It was a big brick structure, a gate marking off the property. Barry had been buzzed in, walking around the building, passing a few women and children playing. He smiled, watching the kids hide behind the nun, who played the fool of the game. Suddenly a shriek came, catching Barry's attention. Turning he was caught in a hug.

“Barry. Thank the lord I have been waiting for you to visit. How is college, have you made friends, have you been fighting your illness’.”

“Everyday Sister Amaya. I'm happy to be home, I have a gift for you.”

“Oh Barry, you being here is a gift enough.” The woman said, pulling Barry back into a hug. “I have missed you so much since you left.”

“I've missed you too. Let's go out to the garden, I think you'll like what I got you.”

“We have much catching up to do. How has Mr. Hunter been treating you.”

“He has been helping a lot, sadly I've been sleepwalking. Last night I was outside with a knife. My friends helped me.” Barry said, holding up his freshly rewrapped hands. 

“Bless them.” Sister Amaya said, patting Barry on the shoulder. “Sister Courtney has been missing you as well. Would you like to surprise her?”

“Very much Sister.” Barry said, standing up. The nun took the moment to reach over and tickling Barry's sides, the young man instantly started squirming and laughing, playfully swatting her hands away. Sister Amaya always knew how to make Barry feel better, after all she was one of the only people he considered as family.


	4. Chapter 4

Barry had enjoyed the day with the sister, it actually made him homesick. Sister Courtney almost tackled Barry to the ground when she hugged him, the older woman having the hold off a gorilla. He currently sat with the two women, enjoying some tarts the three had made. 

“So my parents have been sending me letters.”

“We know. They came to us a couple weeks ago. Legally we can't tell them information you don't wish to share. I know you told us if anyone looks for you that we can give the school name you attend or your address.”

“Lately they've just sent letters, but they wanted to visit for Christmas.”

“Have you told them not to contact you?”

“No, I've been busy.”

“I remember when your parents brought you here. I had wondered why, why would a couple want to give away this beautiful baby boy. I sat with your parents to get information, I learned why they'd give you up.” Amaya said, taking a drink of her tea. “They didn't want to give you up. They'd wanted to keep you Barry, but your father had fallen in hard times. Your parents owed debts and Mr. Allen lost his job, your mom was constantly working, two to three jobs a week. Your father was looking for jobs. One day they were out, your mom went to work, your dad had just gotten another interview call. He'd been so excited that'd he'd forgotten you were in the car. You'd been left in the car, twenty below, for two hours. You got six, your dad and mother realized they couldn't safely care for you in their condition. Your mother, the poor woman had taken to alcohol to help her sleep at night. She was so ashamed. They did what they thought was best for you.”

“They could have come back sooner.” 

“They're trying Barry, they're trying now.”

“I'm sorry sister, but I just can't look at them. They abandoned me, they left me with nothing but doubts about myself. I can't meet them because I won't stop yelling at them.”

“Let them know sweetheart. Let them know to stop send you letters.” Courtney said, patting Barry's shoulder.

“Like I said, I've been busy.” Barry said, his phone binging. Picking up the phone he saw a check up message from Lisa. “I've gotta get going. I'll visit before I leave.”

“Send us more letters.” Amaya said, pulling Barry into a hug. 

“Yah, we miss you, you little brat.” Barry smiled, leaning over and hugging Courtney. “Also, get a haircut. You're almost to your shoulders. Mullets went out years ago Barry.”

“I'll see you later sister’s.” Barry pulled away, getting up and walking away. He texted back, as up not scare Lisa.

 

“He's on his way back.” Lisa said as she sat in the living room, resting against Cisco shoulder.

“That's good, he left his pills here.”

“Do you think we’re overreacting?” 

“He hurt himself last night. I'm starting to think he needs therapy. He's obviously had issues in the past that need confronted.”

“I'm just worried he's not letting us in all the way.”

“But you're kind of doing the same with not telling him about your old man.”

“But that's different.”

“Barry isn't an open person, we just have to wait for him to open up.” Cisco said, Lisa huffing as her mom's stumbled into the house with bags full of stuff.

“Mom what's this?” 

“Len said Barry's never had a Christmas. Not this year, we went shoppin. Len helped pick out Barry gifts.

“Did you get him new skates? His are a hazard.”

“Yes, Lenny picked them out. Now help us wrap these before he gets home. Don't need to ruin his surprise.”

“How did you manage to get shopping done on December 23rd?” Lisa asked, her mom's just smirking at her, not giving her the answer. “Well we've got an hour so let's hurry.” Lisa said as Len and Mick came in, with more bags dangling off their arms. Lisa and Cisco got up, pushing the furniture, grabbing the Christmas supplies bucket. By the time Barry returned to the Snart house the presents were all wrapped and hidden under the Christmas tree. The rest of the night was easy going, Barry getting the first shower, Mick treating his wounds as Lisa and Cisco showered together.

“So did you learn this when you trained to be a volunteer fireman?” Barry asked Mick as they sat on the futon, Mick cleaning the wounds with rubbing alcohol. The younger hissed, flexing his hands as they burned. Len laid on the bed across the room, asleep under the covers. 

“My dad actually. He is a paramedic, I got in a lot of fights. He'd always showed me how to clean the wound.”

“W-what would you get in fights about?”

“Well, when I was a little kid I was on the chubbier side. I had anger issues and after a while, body issues. It wasn't until Len that I felt comfortable in my own skin. We were in middle school, I had experimented with a few guys from school, which led to a bullying and a transfer in schools. I transferred from Starling to Central, met Len my first day. We've been together since middle school, we started in dating late middle school.” Barry smiled, Mick grabbing the bandage wraps. He began wrapping Barry’s hands up, the younger holding them up. “Len taught me that, to every negative, there's a positive. He helped me get my anger managed, sometimes I still need help.” pinning the left hand bandage down, Mick started to wrap the other. “What about you? Did you go to Central? I don't recall Lisa talking about you.”

“No. I didn't go to public school. My aunt homeschooled me. College was my first time being in a public school system.”

“Was it scary for you? I'd probably have a panic attack.” 

“Yah…that is till I met Lisa in practice. She kind of brought me to life. Before her I watched people, the way they acted, just so I could act like them. I saw you and Len and I was jealous because you both through caution to the wind. You weren't affected by what people said, you both are the coolest people I have met.” Mick smiled, brushing Barry’s hair back.

“If you ever, ever need to talk about anything Barry, open up to me or Len. We won't judge you, were your friends. Sometimes you avoid us, but I want you to know that we are your friends.” Mick said, grabbing Barry's bottle of pills. “We take care of each other. Now how many of these do you take?”

“Just two.” Barry said with a smile, Mick pouring two pills out, Barry opening his mouth. Mick poured them into Barry’s mouth, picking up a bottle of water Barry had been keeping, pouring it into his mouth. The younger swallowed, Mick putting the cap back on and stood up. He helped Barry climb into bed, covering him up. 

“Try not to use your hands so much, they'll heal faster.” Curling up, Barry cuddled his pillow, Mick looking at the alarm clock to see the time around two in the morning. “Merry Christmas Eve Barry.” The younger smiled, Mick walking over to the light switch, turning it off before he climbed into bed with Len. The younger groaned, pressing back against his boyfriend in his sleep.

 

The next morning Barry was the last to stir, the room empty of bodies, but chatter came from downstairs. Barry stumbled downstairs, hair messy and pajamas on, the young man wiping sand from his eyes. “There's sleepy head. Come have Christmas Eve brunch, courtesy of Sherri.” Cisco said as he walked out of the kitchen, Barry yawning. Gripping in the younger man's hands was his glasses, his contacts yet to be put in. Putting them on Cisco became clear, the food on the plate becoming more appetizing. 

“Ya, I'll meet you in the dining room.” Barry said, shuffling into the kitchen. He was met with Len, loading his own plate. He spotted Barry, smiling. 

“What would you like? Mick told me to not let you use your hands.”

“I good with anything. It all looks delicious.” Barry said, Len smiling at him as he loaded Barry's plate with similar food that was on his. 

“You look adorable in glasses, you should wear them more often.” Barry froze, Len passing by him as he went bright red. He didn't know how long he stood there, but he finally felt his face fade back to its normal shade when he heard Len yell his name. “Barry, you joining us!?”

“Y-ya.” The young man mumbled, walking out of the kitchen, joining the other six people.


	5. Chapter 5

Barry would deny it till the day he died, but he left his glasses on the rest of the day because Len thought he looked adorable. Here the family and friends sat, drinking cocoa as they chatted, Lisa bouncing with sugar as they watched the clock move closer to the midnight. According to Cisco, who explained it to a very confused Barry, the Snart family opened gifts on Christmas Eve morning instead of Christmas Day, that way they'd spend the two days being a family. 

It was barely ten at night, but Barry was exhausted. He decided to go to bed, taking his medicine as he curled up on the futon. He'd expected to wake up to a mess of wrapping paper like he had at their friend's gift exchange. What he didn't expect was to wake up to Lisa curled up next to him, Cisco on the floor next to them. Mick and Len were out cold, curled up in bed. Getting up carefully Barry snuck out of bed, carefully stepping around Cisco as he walked out of the room with his bag. Going downstairs Barry was surprised at the sight of gifts still left, having thought that they would have all been opened. 

“You're up early?” Barry jumped, turning to see Christina standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

“You scared me.” Barry said, smiling, getting a smile out of Christina. “I thought they opened all their gifts?”

“They did, those are all yours.” Barry's eyes widened.

“My gifts?”

“Yep, all of them.”

“But I didn't get you guys anything.”

“Barry, you don't have to. This is what family does. We spoil the kids and then the kids give us foot massages.” Christina said, trying to make a joke, but Barry just had tears in his eyes.

“Family?”

“Yes Barry. You're my daughters best friend, and one of few guys that don't ask for nudes. As far as I'm concerned you're as good as my own kids.” In a moment of emotions Barry hugged Christina, tears coming out as he whimpered, a smile on his face.

“You don't know how much I appreciate hearing that.” Smiling the older woman rocked Barry. The stood in that position for minutes before Barry pulled back, wiping his tears away, laughing. “I'm going to take a shower first, call my parents and talk to them.”

“Okay, take your time. I'll make breakfast.” Nodding Barry took his bag into the bathroom, turning on the shower, but sat on the floor outside the bathtub. He called his therapist, needing to tell someone right away. Pulling out a blanket from his bag, Barry clutched it in his hand, a smile on his face.

“Dr. Hunter’s phone.”

“Dr. Hunter. It's Barry. Can we have a session over the phone, I have so much to tell you.”

“Of course Mr. Allen. Let me grab my notebook real quick.” Barry heard shuffling. “Okay start with what you're comfortable with.”

“Okay. So I had another sleepwalking episode. This time though I was outside and I had a knife. I cut up my hands and apparently I was screaming stuff, like I had to clean the knife.”

“Did you go to the hospital?”

“No, Mick is taking care of me. He's one of the guys I told you about, he's the boyfriend. He's been very caring.”

 

“That's good right. He shows some interest.”

“Yah, and Len told me I look adorable in my glasses. I don't wear them often because of those kids.”

“The ones that picked on you?”

“Ya. Well I just came downstairs, Len’s mom's got me gifts, a lot of gifts. She said it's what family does.” Barry said, holding the blanket up to his cheeks. “She said I'm family.”

“That's great, that's spectacular. What did you say?”

“I cried, I just told her she'd never understand how much it meant.” 

“That's amazing, I can't wait to see how it affects you now. When you get back I want a face to face.”

“Okay. Can I tell you something, not as a client?”

“Go ahead.” Barry heard the notebook hit a stand.

“You're a great friend Rip, even if you have to pretend to care I'm happy you decided to work with me.”

“If you ever need help Barry I can help, as a friend. Just this way it's doctor-patient.”

“I’ve got to get in the shower, there's a long day ahead.” 

“Alright. I'll talk to you when you get back. Merry Christmas Barry.”

“Merry Christmas Rip.” Barry said, handing up. The bathroom was now steamy, Barry removing his glasses and wiping them off, though it didn't do much as they steamed back up. Shoving the blanket back in the bag Barry dug for his clothes. Pulling off his glasses Barry grabbed a towel and wash clothes. Stripping he took a fast shower, when he got out he got dressed and joined the group of people that had collected into the living room, breakfast prepared in the kitchen. Mick stood from the group seeing Barry's hands unwrapped. The younger followed Mick back into the bathroom, holding his hands up, like his hands were drying. Mick shut the door and without warning picked Barry up by the waist, sitting him up on the bathroom counter. Barry blushed, stiffening as the older man grabbed the wraps.

“They're looking better.”

“That's because you're taking good care of me.” Barry said, smile quivering as he got redder. Mick smiled, wrapping Barry’s left hand. 

“Are you excited about the gifts?”

“It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done. I don't deserve it.”

“Everyone deserves a Christmas. Len’s and Lisa’s mom heard you hadn't had a real Christmas they took Len and me out to shop for you. I hope you like them.” Mick said as he pinned the wrap down, working on the right hand.

“I'm already grateful, Christina already made my day.” Barry said, just the thought bringing tears to his eyes. “Thank you guys very much.” Mick finished the right hand, pinning the bandages. Wrapping his arms around Mick the younger thanked him again. The older smiled, picking Barry up, letting the younger hold onto him. Barry hid the big smile plastered on his face from Mick, feeling the the man's biceps as he sat Barry down on the ground.

“Come on, we're waiting on you.” Mick said, walking out as Barry followed. The man walked over to his boyfriend, pressing a kiss to his lips as he sat on the armrest beside him. Lisa waved Barry over, squeezing between her and Len. Christina placed a present on the coffee table, Barry smiling as he looked down at it. Looking at his hands he peeked over at Mick. He nodded, Barry carefully and slowly unwrapping the wrapping paper. A few minutes passed and Barry finally got the box open. His face this up as he saw the new red ice skates. Lisa was equally excited, telling him about her matching gold ones she got. 

The rest of the morning the family and friends waited for Barry to finish opening gifts before they spent the day playing games, baking, and watching holiday movies. That night Barry was cuddled up in bed, covered in a new sweater he’d gotten, medicine making him drift to sleep easily. Len and Mick watched him carefully, scared that he'd walk off if they looked away for a second. “I want him Len. He's so innocent and cute, I just want to wrap him up in bubble wrap.”

“I know, I do too, but he's Lisa’s friend. We can't do that to her.” Mick sighed, kissing Len’s shoulder. “I bumped into this guy in my music course, Hartley. He's cute, just broke up with his boyfriend. He wants a serious relationship.”

“I'm tired of dating guys. I know who I want. Can't we ask Lisa if he's interested, maybe get her approval.”

“No Mick. He's off limits…even if we do want to wrap him up and lock him in a padded room. It's unfair, I know.” Mick growled, biting Len’s shoulder, the younger gasping and pressing back against him. 

“Guess I'll just have to work out my frustrations on you.”

“I'll help you.” Len said, turning himself and Mick over so that he was on top. Smiling down Len ducked under the covers, a sinister smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a little off. I've done rewrites of it, many different ideas on how the situation could go, as well as a little more into Barry's life. 
> 
> I also wrote this dead tired, so sorry again :)

Christmas came and went and New Year's crept up on the household. Barry watched Lisa and Cisco bring home fireworks and drinks. Barry was left to the cooking with their mothers. Barry had been doing as much as he could to get the house fed for the holiday. The day started with some drinking and some holiday cooking, which turned into drinking games, which turned to Len cleaning everything up the house as everyone wondered around drunk, Lisa out cold, head using the fern as a pillow. Mick was out cold upstairs, hopefully in their room and not Lisa’s. He laughed at the thought of Mick waiting for drunk sex with Len, passed out in Lisa’s bed. 

Len was currently cleaning the dishes, the house much quieter than the outside. Suddenly he felt a hand on his arm, turning he was faced with Barry, face red as he looked at Len with a drunken gaze. “You alright Barry?”

“My hands are burning.” He said, holding up his stained bandages.

“You poured alcohol in your hands. Come on, let's go clean your hands and get you to bed.” Len said, pulling Barry around the corner, into the bathroom. Barry shut the door behind him, Len digging in the cabinet for more wraps. As he dug through the box, he felt Barry tug at his shirt. “Hold out your hands so I can get those gross things off.” Len turned, Barry's hands up and ready to be redressed. He smiled drunkenly at Len as the man removed the wraps, silence filling the house once more. Len took a washcloth and wiped down Barry’s arms before applying the new wraps. As soon as Len pulled away Barry sprang to his feet, faster than he should be able to drunk. Len was pinned between Barry and the sink, the older unable to hiss at the pain he felt on the back of his legs as his mouth was blocked by Barry's. It was sloppy, as were his hand that were fumbling with Len pants. He managed to get Lens pants unbutton and unzipped before Len shoved him back out of instinct. Fixing himself Len grabbed Barry by the arms. “What the hell Barry?”

“I've been wanting to do that for a while. Wish you would have manned up first.” Barry slurred, leaning again Len’s hold. “You and Mick flaunt your perfect bodies around to tease people, well it's not fair.” Barry growled. “I want to have sex with you guys and it's not fair you go around and fuck these guys.”

“How much did you drink?” Len asked, letting the words go over his head as he watched Barry rock. Without a reply Barry turned, vomiting the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Kneeling down Len patted his back, not removing his hand till Barry was done, then he stood and got a glass of water and the mouthwash. After cleaning Barry up Len decided it was bed time. Turning off all the lights Len took Barry upstairs, grabbing his pills. 

“I can't take those on alcohol Lenny.” Len looked back, eyes wide in shock and horror.

“What the hell do we do then.”

“Will you cuddle me? When I was little I never moved when someone held me.”

“Alright, climb in with me and Mick.” Barry smiled, climbing in after Len, the older wrapping his arm around Barry's waist, Barry using Len’s chest as a pillow.

“Did you push me away because I'm a bad kisser?” Barry said after a moment of silence. “Cause I know I'm really bad at it. I've never kissed anyone. I've never had sex with anyone either.”

“How come?”

“Too many issues. Not many people chose me because I come with too much issues. I sleepwalk, I'm too emotional, I have mommy and daddy issues, not to mention the great big list I've written down.”

“You don't really let one in.”

“I can't deal with another heartbreak.”

“It's okay, just go to bed and we’ll talk about it tomorrow.” Len said, Barry snuggling into him.

“I fucked things up again.” Barry mumbled, drifting off to sleep. Len continued to rub up and down his back until he too fell asleep. He woke up hours later, when the sun hit him in the face. His body hurt from last night events, which slowly came back to him and the lack of weight on his chest made him alert. Sitting up Len saw Mick out cold with a pillow blocking out the sun, but no Barry. Carefully Len got up, looking around the room. Immediately he noticed his closet door ajar. Walking over Len slowly opened in, looking inside to see Barry curled up in the corner, a scarlet, tattered blanket gripped in his hands, his face pressed into the fabric. He looked up when he saw more light flood in and immediately his face dropped. At the sight of Len Barry teared up and he started mumbling. “No, no,no,no.” He repeated as he cried, Len beginning to worry as he wasn't making sense.

“Hey Barry, calm down. What’s wrong, talk to me?” The younger only tried to scoot back into the closet more, but failing as the closet was small. 

“I assaulted you last night. I touch you inappropriately without your permission.” Barry cried, Len feeling a pang in his chest.

“You mean that little kiss?”

“And your pants.”

“Barry, I'm not mad. You went past your limit on alcohol, you got a little over excited.”

“I'm going to hell. I’m going to go to hell.” Barry cried, Len reaching over and wiping away his tears. 

“Why are you in this closet Barry?”

“It's my safe place.”

“And this old blanket?”

“It's my baby blanket. It's my anchor.” Barry said, wiping his tears in the blanket. “Don't tell Mick.”

“Barry, I've got to. He's my partner, I can't keep secrets from him.” 

“Please don't. He’ll hate me.”

“Mick will understand. He's had too many before.” Len said, holding his hand out. “Come out, come back to bed.”

“I'm safer here. I'm less of a bother this way.” Barry said.

“Come one Barry, we’ve got to get packed. We're leaving tomorrow.”

“I never unpacked.” Barry said, Len sighing.

“Okay, you leave me no choice.” Len said, climbing into the closet, sitting beside Barry. They were squished together, Barry trying to keep away from Len, not wanting to touch him. “Want to talk about what you said last night?”

“What did I say?”

“You are attractive Barry, you have a great personality. Just because you have some issues it doesn't mean you are a last choice. If you weren't Lisa’s friend I would have had sex with you last night. I just don't want to hurt you because if I hurt you I hurt my sister. That's not fair to both of you.”

“Lisa’s my best friend, my first really friend. I shouldn't go after you guys because of that. I'm weak.”

“You're strong Barry, alcohol make great men weak.” Len said, a groan coming from the bed. Mick sat up, looking over the two in the closet. A moment passed before he snickered. 

“I thought we were all out of the closet.”

“Mick, not the right time.” Len said, signaling to Barry. Mick’s eyes cleared, catching the mess that Barry had become. Climbing off the bed Mick came across the room to sit across from them.

“What's wrong Red?”

“There was an incident last night I need to tell you.” Len said, Barry giving him begging eyes.

“What happened?” Mick asked, grabbing Barry's hand to look at it.

“Barry had a little too much to drink.” Mick smirked at the thought of a wasted Barry goofing off. “He cornered me and kissed me, tried to undress me to have sex with him.” Mick looked up at Len, the other man signaling with his eyes. “Barry's worried you'll hate him. Nothing more happened.” 

“It's fine Barry, you were drunk, you didn't know better.” Mick said, Barry staring at him with wide eyes.

“Really.”

“Yah.” Mick said, about to undo the bandages, but stop. “No actually. It's not okay under any circumstance to try and have sex with someone that doesn't want it.” Barry flinched, pulling away.

“I'm sorry.” Barry mumbled.

“Mick, nothing happened other than a kiss and he popped open my pants.” Len said, trying to hint at Mick to stop. “He's already learned his lesson. He's beating himself up.” Len said, Barry practically hiding behind the blanket.

“Sorry, you know how I get when someone messes with you, after your dad just don't do it again.” Barry’s head dropped. “Listen Barry. I just worry about Len. I know you'd never do that in the right mind. I'm not mad. I worry about you too.” Mick said, Barry looking at him for a moment before leaning over and hugging Mick.

“I'm sorry.” He said, Mick holding him close.”

“That's alright.” Mick said, holding Barry close. “Listen, go back to bed and we’ll wake you when foods.” Smiling Barry nodded, standing. The two men stood, following from the futon, laying down. He cuddled his blanket as Len was conver him with the comfortable.

“Barry, it's alright.” Len said, the younger looking Back as Lisa walked past their room, groaning. 

“You can still tell us anything.” Mick said, rubbing his hand through Barry's hair. “Sorry about my temper.”

“It's okay, you just really love Len.” Barry smiled, Len nodding and looked at his lover. Barry closed his eyes, not taking long to nod off.

 

The rest of the day passes, a lot of loading of gifts and bags before they went to bed, the next day they left, Barry unable to say goodbye to the sisters. He'd miss them, they were like mothers to him. Sherri and Christina kissed Barry's cheeks several times, letting him know he was welcomed in the Snart house again. The drive home was traffic filled and boring as they waited in traffic. When they got through it was a smooth ride home, Mick pulling up to Cisco and Barry's home.

 

“Hey Barry, I won't tell anyone about that v thing.” Len said, Barry’s face blushing as he remember his drunk talk.

“Ya…thanks. Bye Mick, bye Len.” Barry waved, the duo waving as Lisa and Cisco carried all their stuff to the front door. As Mick and Len drove off Cisco yelled for Barry.

“Barry! There's a big gift for you!” Turning Barry ran to Lisa and Cisco, indeed there was a gift on the door mart with his name on it. Picking it up Barry opened the card in it, Cisco busy opening the door. The inside of the card had a note.

“Dear Barry,

We were hoping you'd be home, we hope you had a lovely Christmas. Hope your contact is soon.

Love, 

Henry and Nora Allen.

P.S. We hope you enjoy you gift.”

Barry wasted no time taking the gift upstairs and shoving it in the back of his closet, flopping down to take a nap. He had to start worrying about classes, but first, the last sleep of the summer. Curling up in bed Barry imagined the feeling of Len’s arm around him and Mick’s body heat, like it had been when Barry woke up the day before, the warmth he wish he had right then.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that I have so many more chapters to come because there is so many more sides to this fic. :)

Before classes started Barry needed to do a bit of self recovery. After the group got back Barry took a few weeks to travel back to Central City. He visited the orphanage, visiting the priest that was in charge. He did a confessional, then decided to help out for a few weeks, to spend time with the nuns. When he got back Lisa was obviously worried, after all Barry told her he was leaving for a few weeks and nothing else.

“Mick and Lenny want to talk to you.” Lisa said as she sat on the couch, watching Barry sort through the mail.

“I'm a little busy, I have a doctor's appointment.”

“They seemed a little worried, said you weren't taking their calls.” Lisa said, looking down at the pile of pink letters. “What's going on between you guys? Are you having some secret relationship going on behind my back? Did you guys have a fight? Oh my god, you guys had a secret break up in your secret relationship.” Barry smile, shaking his head.

“Quite the opposite Lisa. Mick and Len won't date me because I'm your friend and they don't want to hurt you.”

“Stupid brother. They can't stop staring at your ass. I don't dictate who they date.”

“Lisa, they don't want me, it's alright. I don't need their approval, I've never approval. I have you and Cisco. I just need friends.” Barry said, Lisa huffing.

“So what happened then?”

“New Years I got pretty wasted. I tried to have sex with your brother.”

“And he denied you?”

“He said if I hadn't been your friend he would have had sex with me. Obviously they're attracted to me, but I won't trade my friendship with you for anyone's dick.” Barry said, leaning over the back of the couch and hugging Lisa. 

“So you've been avoiding them.”

“I needed to clear my head, I'm just not ready to confront them yet. Mick seemed mad.”

“Mick’s big on consent, he's probably calmed down now. They're probably worried about you.”

“I'm fine, tell them that. I just need time away from boys.” Barry said, Lisa smiling widely. 

“Girl's day!?” She squeaked, Barry laughing. 

“What do you have in mind?” Barry asked, taking a seat beside her.

“Shopping, pedicures, strippers.” Barry broke into laughter, pulling Lisa into a hug. 

“How about some cheesy musicals and lots of chocolate. I just want to stay home.”

“Okay. I got to go run some errands, then we’ll cuddle up and eat lots of ice cream.” 

“Okay, I have some stuff I got to tidy up here.” Barry said, getting up and walking upstairs, grabbing the pink letters.

“Hey Barry, who keeps sending you letter?” Barry turned, looking at the letters.

“Oh, just my parents. Want constant updates.”

“Well at least they worry about you.”

“I wish they wouldn't.” Barry said, going upstairs. Frowning Lisa got up, she needed to talk to her brother.

 

She reached Len and Mick’s place fast and the first thing she did when Len opened the door was smack him with her purse. “How dumb can you be!?” She said, hitting Len again, not hard enough to harm him, but enough to annoy him.

“What the hell Lisa?!”

“How could you dummies be such…dummies.”

“What's going on?” Mick as he walked back into the living room. 

“Lisa’s mad.”

“How come you didn't tell me what happened with Barry!?”

“What?”

“On New Years!”

“Nothing happened.”

“Ya, I know! You idiot seriously have no idea how much he crushes on you. I was hoping you assholes would ask him out over break. I mean that's the whole reason I asked him to come!”

“Wait, what? You were trying to set us up with your friend?” Len was surprised by his sister, Mick grumbling.

“Of course I fucking was! You guys have been screwing around these assholes when Barry, the sweetest guy in the world, is hoping you'd just look at him for two seconds! You guys just fucking tease him and I thought that if it was just us you'd guys finally make a move and get closer to him! Instead you tell him he's not fuckable because he's my friend! He got closer to our moms than you guys!”

“What do you want us to do Lisa?! Go up and ask him out! He's not even taking our calls!”

“Talk to him! He doesn't know what to do!”

“Fine, give me your phone. I'll call him right now and ask him out.” Len said, holding out his hand.

“No! He's spending the night with me. He needs cheering up after you bozos knocked him off his confidence.”

“Come on Lisa, he's just a little mad at us.”

“Think again. So tomorrow get ahold of him.”

“How's his hands doing?” Mick asked, Lisa snapping her neck to face him.

“Fine. And if you're wondering he's cut off the alcohol so Mick won't have to worry anymore.”

“What? That's not what I tried to get through to him.”

“Barry's a good person. He didn't need a lecture. Just call him tomorrow and ask him out.”

“Okay Lis, just calm down.” Len said, his sister huffing, turning and walking out. 

“You can thank me later.” She said, leaving her brother and his boyfriend to rethink that night. When she got home Barry wasn't there. He'd left a note on the fridge about his doctor's appointment. Going upstairs Lisa walked into Barry's room, looking for his cook book. It's been recipies Barry had written down over the years. She decided he deserved to relax for the night. Pulling it off the bookshelf Lisa’s smile dropped, eyes catching on a pink letter stuck in the shredder. Raising a brow she looked closer, kneeling down to look at it she pulled on it, the letter jammed in the blades. Lisa just stared, curious as to why Barry had tried to shred his parents letters. 

“Why are you in my room Lisa?” The girl jumped, turning to see Barry walk in taking off his scarf.

“You scared me. I came to grab you cookbook, then I noticed your shredders jammed.”

“Ya, that things old. I think I just need a new one. So what are you making?”

“Well I don't know yet, was going to surprise you.”

“Well I'll go pick out movies while you surprise me with whatever you pick.” Barry smiled, walking out. Lisa followed him, stopping to look back at the shredder before hurrying down the stairs.

 

Dinner came and went, Barry and Lisa cuddling up under a blanket as they shared ice cream and watched as the killer cut his way through the stereotypical horror movie characters when Cisco walked in, joining them on the couch. “So what's going on tonight?”

“Boycotting boys.” Lisa said, watching the TV.

“Good, boys suck.” Cisco said as he laid against Lisa’s shoulder. The two smiled as they watched the movie. They finished the night, saving the dishes for tomorrow.

“Hey Barry.” Lisa stopped Barry as soon as Cisco went to his room, the duo standing at the top of the stairs, outside of Barry's room. He turned, face showing a little concern. “You can talk to me about anything you know. We are best friends, so if you want to tell me anything personal I won't laugh or judge you. If you want to talk about my brother that's alright. I just want you to open up to me.”

“I know Lisa, I trust you more than anything. I just don't want to talk about Len and Mick. I know that's what tonight was about. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay.”

“Alright, just promise we’ll talk about things that are really bugging you.”

“I promise Lisa. Just not right now.” Nodding Lisa walked down the hall to Cisco’s room. Barry shut his door, flopping down in bed, pills in hand. He took them, curling up and ready to drift up. He hated lying to Lisa, but he just wasn't ready to open up about his parents to anyone, even though she was the most trustworthy person he'd ever met.


	8. Chapter 8

School started again and Barry never did talk to Lisa. In fact he wasn't talking much, he'd still been avoiding Mick and Len. He currently sat in Jitter’s with Caitlin, Ronnie, Iris, and her boyfriend Eddie. They'd just finished classes for the day when Barry walked in and joined them. “So anyways we’re in the chemistry lab with Stein and Jax when Well’s walked in. I swear to you I couldn't make sense of what they were saying, but I heard a suggestion that Well’s could take his idea of a particle accelerator and shove it somewhere the sun don't shine.” Iris said, making the group laugh.

“Those two have the best feud, I'm wondering how they still have jobs though.” Barry said, Eddie turning to look at him. 

“Probably because the Dean is scared to fire them.”

“Hey, have you guys heard that Rory and Snart are out looking for another boyfriend.” Ronnie said, eyes dragging to him.

“Those guys are going through them like crazy. How greedy can you get?” Eddie said, Barry shaking his head.

“Wonder who they're taking to the Valentine's Day party?” Iris said, taking a sip of her coffee.

“You guys have girlfriends, I don't get why it matters.”

“Well they're taking all the good men out of your sea Bare.” Iris said, Barry shaking his head.

“I'm staying single. Relationships are bad.” Barry said, standing up. “I got to go start my homework.”

“Boring Barry.” Ronnie groaned, Barry shaking his head as he gathered his bag.

“I got a paper due in a couple weeks and two labs to prep for. I deserve to be boring old Barry.” Barry said, turning quickly and walking towards the door. Just as he reach it, it opened. Walking in he was greeted by Len, a smile coming to his face.

“Hey Barry, long time no see.”

“Yah.” Barry grumbled, walking past Len and out the door. Len bit his lip, gripping his fists as he rolled his eyes in frustration. Turning Len marched out the door, chasing after Barry. The younger didn't get much space between them when Len ran up behind him, yelling his name. When Barry refused to turn Len reached out and turned him, the duo stopping in their tracks. “What do you want Len?” Barry groaned.

“Well…I wanted to ask if you wanted to go with Mick and me to the Valentine’s Day party?”

“I've got better things to do.” Barry grumbled, Len grabbing his own wrist as an awkward silence filled their conversation.

“A lot of homework? Well, maybe we can go out on a date sometime.”

“No thanks.” Barry said, Len sighing.

“Look Barry. I'm sorry we snapped at you for what you help. You were drunk and we flipped out, we were jerks. Can we just be friends again?” Barry looked down at his coffee, biting his lip as he sighed.

“I'm not mad at you guys. I'm made at myself because what you guys said is true. I don't care if I'm buzzed or clean, I feel like a danger to you and Mick. I'm not looking to go out with you guys anymore, I might have before, but I just want to get school over with and us go our separate ways. You can go be an engineer like you always wanted, Mick can be a full time firefighter.”

“Please Barry, give us one last chance and I swear we will treat you right. We screwed up the last one, but now we know what we want…well I want, Mick knew he wanted you no matter the obstacle.”

“I've got to go Len…I'll call and talk to you tonight if you want.”

“Okay…I'll hold you to that.” Len said, smiling as Barry walked away with a frown.

When Barry reached home he went through the mail, grabbing the pink letter and taking it to his room, where his unjammed letter waited. He opened it, skimming it as he walked upstairs for any indication that his parents were coming. Seeing none he walked into his room, shoving the letter into the shredder. Smiling Barry turned to walk to his bed, ready to start his homework, but jumped when he saw Lisa on his bed, giving him the saddest eyes he'd ever received.

“What are you doing in my room?” He asked, sitting his bag down.

“I was going to talk to you about Lenny. He called, super excited because you said you call him tonight. I was going to make sure you kept your promise, but I think we should have that speaking time instead.”

“Lisa, you know why I can't go out with him.”

“He's trying Barry, they both are. You just don't trust them.”

“No, I don't trust myself around them. What if I don't feel like I have to stop next time?”

“Mick can stop you. You're worrying about nothing. We've got to talk about the trust issues you have.”

“Look Lisa, I have many issues that stem from year of neglect and having no one else to trust except myself.”

“Why can't you trust me. Tell me what's really going on, and not with his Lenny and Mick, but why you shred your parents letters.” Barry turned around, sitting in the desk chair.

“Is it so hard to believe that I hate my parents.”

“Why?”

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Because it matters to you! You're my best friend, the one that pretends to be my boyfriend when Cisco's not around and some creepy men want to talk. You listen to me and protect me. I want to listen to you…so please tell me everything that bothers you, why you feel this way, why you hate your parents.”

“You want to know everything that's happened in my life? You want to know why I never talk about my family, or go home, why I don't want any contact with them?” Barry growled, standing up. “Because I don't have a family to go home to Lisa! I don't have what you have! I don't have parents to go home to! Not for 22 years! I don't know the people that send letters and leave gifts at our door!”

“Barry calm down and sit next to me.” Lisa said, Barry feeling tear ready to fall. He did as she said, sitting down on the bed. Grabbing his hands Lisa gave a small squeeze. “Now tell me about you. Trust me.” Barry nodded, tears falling down his cheek, one by one leaving a trail.

“When I was a baby my parents gave me up for adoption. For 17 years I live in an orphanage in Central City, while they were rebuilding their lives. People came, but once they heard of my issues; my night terrors I woke up screaming from, my abandonment issues, as well as my therapist bill every week. I wouldn’t talk to anyone except a couple nuns, sisters Amaya and Courtney. I've made it to the age of 18 without one visit from them, and now, now they want to get to know me! They may not have been well off, but they could have given me to a friend or family member until they got on their feet again. Lisa, all I can think is that once they got their lives put back together they didn't want me. I don't understand why. Maybe I was a noisy baby, maybe they just tasted freedom. Why didn't they want me Lisa?” Barry broke, tears covering his red tinted cheeks, the young girl pulling him into a hug. She felt a pang in her chest as Barry cried into her shoulder, clutching her so tight as to make sure she didn't run off.

Lisa kissed Barry's cheek, rocking him as he screamed out his frustrations, all his pain, all his emotions into her shoulder. She felt tears in her eyes, unable to process how Barry had battled all these emotions inside while they talked about their happy lives, their perfect worlds, while Barry had no one in his life. Now she understood, just how important her friendship to him is, how much strength and confidence he must have mustered up when talking to his crushes, fearing that he'd say something wrong, and how it felt to have his heart broken repeatedly because he was Lisa’s friend. “It's okay Barry. It's okay if you hate them, and it's okay to feel like you've been wronged. It doesn't matter if you don't have parents that don't want you, it alright because I want you. I want you and you're my family. Barry Allen, you have a family. A small one, with two mom's. A big one with all your friends. No matter what, you will always have me as your family.” Lisa said, playing with Barry's hair. “You know what you're going to do.”

“What?” Barry mumbled, pulling away. Lisa wiped away his tears, a smile coming to her face.

“You are going to get on your phone, you aren't going to let anyone or anything stop you. You are going to call my brother like your promised and you are going to find two men that will treat you like a prince. Two men that will protect you from anything. So stop putting yourself down, fuck your parents, go get your own love from those two morons.” Barry laughed, hugging Lisa.

“I love you, you know that right.”

“Ya, you better because you're stuck with me.” She held him back, gripping onto him for dear life.

“Please don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone else to know.”

“My lips are sealed.” She said, the two hugging for a few minutes before they heard the door downstairs open, Cisco coming back from class. 

 

Len was asleep, Mick’s arm wrapped around him when he was awoken by his phone buzzing. Groaning he had grabbed it, thinking it was his alarm, instead he was greeted by a phone call. He answered it, grumbling into the phone. “What?”

“Hey Len, is it a bad time?” A hushed voice said over the phone.

“Barry? Is that you?”

“Ya.” Looking over at the alarm clock Len groaned again.

“Its four in the morning.”

“I know, I can't sleep. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Okay, go ahead.”

“Is that date or party still open?”

“Ya. Both, if you want.”

“Are you free Friday.”

“I can be.”

“What about Mick.”

“I'll ask in the morning.”

“Okay, call me later and I'll answer.”

“Will do. Thank you for giving us a chance.” Len said, Barry humming.

“Don't forget.” Barry said, Len hearing the smile in his voice. 

“I won't. Good-night Barry.” 

“Good-night Len.” Barry hung up, a smile stretching across Len’s face as he covered himself with Mick’s arms. He cuddled into his partner, falling asleep easily to the feeling of his chest going up and down.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter tonight. Tomorrow is date night.

Barry sat in the living doing his homework, books opened up all over the coffee table, TV on for background noise, a twizzler hanging out of his mouth as he scribbled down things for his paper he needed to start. There was a knock at the door, Barr getting up and walking to let the person in. When he opened it he was greeted with a rather sweaty, tired looking Mick.

“Hey Red. I know our date isn't till later, but I stopped by to say hi. Are you going to eat that?” Mick said, Barry pulling the licorice out of his mouth.

“Having something in my mouth helps me focus.” Mick smirked, making Barry blush at what he said. “On studying Mick. Why are you really here?”

“Is Lisa home? I locked myself out again and Len’s in class till late today.”

“No, she's also in class. You can stay here till one of them gets home. I'm just doing homework.”

“Cool. Can I go get a blanket. It's colder than it was in January.”

“I'll go get the good one.” Barry said, going up the stair. Mick shivered, sitting on the couch. A few minutes later a blanket was draped over his shoulders. “Want some cocoa?”

“Ya, thanks Red.” Barry left, returning minutes later with two mugs of cocoa.

“How long were you outside?”

“About an hour before I ran here.”

“That's ten city blocks Mick, and it's snowing.”

“I know, so mind if I steal your body heat?” Shaking his head Barry cuddled up with Mick. The two sat, spending the hour cuddling up, Mick watching TV as Barry worked on his paper. When Lisa walked in Mick had his head in Barry's lap, eating twizzlers.

“I thought the date wasn't till friday?” She teased, Mick looking over at her.

“I locked myself out. Can you give me a lift home and let me in?”

“Ya, come on.” Lisa said, Mick sitting up.

“See you Friday Barry.” Mick got up, Barry waving him good-bye as they walked out. The young watched him leave, Lisa giving him a thumbs up as she left, Barry smiling.

 

Friday came and Barry's anxiety taking over as he tore through his closet, Lisa sitting on his bed. “I don't know what I should wear Lisa. I mean they've seen me in my science t-shirts, but this is formal…or is it casual.”

“Barry calm down. My brother will find you fuckable in anything you wear. So wear that red sweater, the one with the large drooping neck, and those nice dress pants that I know you wear to show off your ass.” She said, standing and walking over to Barry. She pulled out the sweater she was talking about, turning to the dresser and pulling out a pair of black dress pants.

“What about my underwear? In case they want to have sex?”

“Lesson number one, don't ever have sex on the first date, even if it's my brother. He and Mick have a system too. They didn't even sleep with Jessie.”

“Do you think I'll be a let down, being a virgin and everything. I've only kissed your brother, very drunkenly.”

“Len’s first boyfriend was an asshole to Len. He doesn't know I know, but Lenny had to go to the hospital because that asshole didn't care. Len told him he was a virgin and he still wasn't careful. I swear mom was going to skin they guys.”

“Who was he?”

“Sam something. Piece of trash. Mick came along not too long after that. He worshipped the land Lenny walked on. Len may look tough, but he's just as fragile as you, as me, and as Mick. Those two are perfect for you.”

“If things don't work out, how will that affect us? I don't want to lose you.”

“Barry Allen. Clique before dick. We’ll be fine as long as you don't tell me about sex with my brother.” Smiling Barry hugged Lisa. 

“You are the best Lisa. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“If they try I'll send you into defend me. You did it awesomely the first time.” Barry smiled. It was how they first became friends, and also the first time he met Len and Mick. It had been the first week of school, Barry had met Lisa a few weeks before at practice. She talked to him a lot, which Barry tried to be normal and social. It had been warmer, Barry still remember what Lisa had worn. The skirt had been a little too short for Barry's comfort level, something he'd never approve her wearing again, since then she always comes to him on an outfit if she's unsure. Barry had been walking to Jitter’s for a frozen mocha shake when he saw Lisa and a girl, who he learned was Caitlin, walking away from this guy, who was making them obviously uncomfortable. 

As Barry neared he heard the man's word to the girls. Caitlin hadn't worn anything skimpy so Barry knew he'd been yelling at the girl in the short skirt. What he said was so vulgar Barry was sure it’d have the sisters begging for forgiveness just being in the guy's presence. Barry hadn't been really vocal in his life, nor had he been one to confront people or conflict, but what the guy had said next had Barry's blood boiling. “Wearing that short of a skirt is like screaming you want sex. Girls like you with daddy issues needs a good fuck, especially when you're asking for it.” Barry didn't even know what he was doing until he felt his wrist shoot pain, connecting with the guys face. He fell back, Barry gripping his wrist. The guy hit the ground with a thud, nose bloody.

“Clothes don't mean consent asshole. No means no.” Lisa came up behind him, kicking the guy in there crotch, pulling Barry and Caitlin away from the creep. 

“You're that kid from my figure skating team. If you're expecting sex you're sadly not going to get any.” She said, Barry shaking his head. 

“No, I'm gay!” Barry yelled, a blush coming across his cheeks. “I-I mean I don't like   
sex…I mean with women.” Lisa looked at Caitlin, the two women smiling at Barry.

“What's your name? I'm Lisa Snart.”

“Barry…Barry Allen.”

“Well Barry…can you walk with us? I'm meeting up with my brother.”

“Ya. Can we grab a shake first?”

“Totally.” Lisa said, walking towards Jitter’s. “Is my skirt really that short?”

“I wouldn't wear it without something underneath. Guys are pigs.”

“I hear that.” 

 

“Barry! You're going to be late!” Lisa yelled, Barry snapping out of it. 

“Get out so I can get dressed, unless you want to see what's underneath my towel. Barry said, Lisa stand with a smirk. “Get out you weirdo.” Barry gave her a shove, Lisa huffing as she walked out. Shutting the door he got ready, nerves setting in as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Barry they're here!” 

“Coming.” Barry yelled, running down the stairs.


	10. Chapter 10

Barry hopped into the back on the car, blushing and fixing his glasses as he looked into the front seat to see the couple, dressed in polos and dress shirts. “So where are we going?”

“This nice restaurant that I so happen to work at.” Len said turning to face Barry

“You have a job? But you always seem to be around.”

“Third shift. I do the prep work.”

“He make mean noodles.” Mick said, Barry smiling as the pull up to a brightly lit building. Climbing out Barry looked around, seeing the brightly lit letters, “Rogues Gallery”. 

“Come on, Len held his arm out, Barry taking it. Mick locked the car, wrapping an arm around Len’s waist. When they got inside the seated showed them to their seat, Barry sitting on the side while Mick and Len were across from one another. 

“So what should we talk about?” Barry said, breaking the silence as the waiter left.

“How's your hands?” Mick asked, Barry holding the unwrapped, but still cut up hands.

“Not as bad, but still hurts.”

“Have you been putting ointment on it?”

“Yah, my doctor gave me some.”

“That's good. Is the coach letting you back on the ice?” Len asked, the waiter returning with a bottle of wine and three glasses. He began pouring, reaching Barry's glass the younger shook his hand, in a waving fashion.

“I'm not old enough.” The waiter nodded, walking away.

“You can drink from ours Red, we won't tell.” Barry shook his head, taking a drink of water.

“I'm not going to drink. I make bad decisions drunk.” Reaching over Len grabbed Barry’s hand.

“Let's pretend it never happened. We can just act like we did before…maybe a little more intimate.” Len said leaning closer to Barry. “Maybe we can redo our first kiss.”

“I don't want to talk about that.” Barry said, Mick grabbing Barry's other hand. 

“We won't. How about we all about you? We don't know much about you.”

“I don’t know much about you. How about we share stuff we don't know.”

“Okay, I'll say something about myself first.” Len said, looking around.

“I have a collecting of pink teddy bears at home.” Barry cracked a smile, managing to hold back the chuckle that wanted to escape. “All pink?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“I was suppose to be a girl.” The time Barry did laugh, trying to hide it in a cough.

“What about you Red?”

“I…learned to ice skate to impress this guy.”

“What happened?”

“I broke my nose and he was straight. Couldn't stick the landing. My Aunt Amaya and Aunt Courtney taught my how to skate, playing hockey. I left with bruises all over. For older ladies they packed a punch in hockey.” Barry said, laughing at the memory.

“So you learned to skate from playing hockey?”

“Yep, but Lisa is way better than me.”

“You're not terrible, better than half those morons.” Mick said, Barry turning to face the man. His eyes flicked to the waiter coming back to get their order, Barry yet to look at the menu. In fact he hadn't managed to when he noticed the couple walk in behind the waiter. Barry's eyes widened, pulling his hand away from Len to fix his glasses. His eyes focusing on the couple as they got closer, being led to a table too close to theirs for Barry's liking. As they got closer Barry realized that they looked just the same as they did in the pictures they had sent him. Swallowing everything went quiet as he shook, fear pulsing through his veins as they sat feet away.

“Bare?” Len said, Barry looking over at him. Barry's mouth was dry, his heart was pounding in his ears, both his dates and the waiter looked at him like he was about to pass out.

“Red? I think you're having a panic attack.”

“I-gotta go.” Barry stood, body shaking as he rushed for the door. Len sat down money before he and Mick took off after Barry. The younger managed to make it down the street before stumbling over on the sidewalk. Mick and Len rushed to his side as people gathered around. Barry watched as people gathered around, making it much worse. He couldn't breathe, couldn't slow down his breathing, the words around him drowning him. He saw Mick trying to move people back, Len holding Barry's hand. He doesn't remember what happened, it all just went black. When the world came flooding back in the first thing Barry saw was white. Groaning he turned and saw Mick and Len sitting in the chair beside him. Making a groaning sound he alerted the two, but not just them.

“Oh my god Barry. Are you alright!?” Turning his head Barry was greeted by Lisa and Cisco.

“My head hurts.”

“That's probably the lack of oxygen.” Mick said, reaching over and grabbing Barry's hand. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I just got this overwhelming feeling at dinner. I just remember being outside, staring up at the sky.”

“You had a panic attack Barry. You were hyperventilating and passed out.” 

“I ruined the date, I'm sorry.” Barry said, tears in his eyes.

“No, there will be plenty of dates to come Barry. Are you feeling better.”

“I think I need to lay down.”

“Let's call the doctor in, see if we can get you sent home.” Lisa said, Len getting up and leaving to get the doctor. He returned not to long after with an older man in a lab coat. 

“Hi Barry. I'm Dr. Zolomon. Can I give you a little check up and ask you a few questions about previous medical history.”

“Ya, but is it alright with you guys if I answer these privately?” Barry said, looking at Mick and Len.

“Ya, we'll go.” Len said, getting up and kissing Barry on the forehead. Mick mimicked him, but kissed Barry's cheek.

“I'll take him home Lenny.” Lisa said, holding Barry's hand. Cisco, Len, and Mick left, Lisa staying on Barry's request.

“Alright Mr. Allen. Have you had any previous panic attacks in your life?”

“Yah, when I was a kid. This one was triggered. I saw my mom and dad…at the restaurant, only feet away.” Lisa gripped Barry's hand, almost hugging him if all the wires hadn't been been in her way.

“Do you mind explaining while I give you a check up?” Barry nodded and so he did. An hour later Barry was sent home, having Lisa and Cisco stay with him as he was having trouble sleeping.

 

The next night Barry had felt guilty about the date, so here he stood with his ice skates, knocking on Len and Mick’s door. Mick groggily opened the door, obviously just waking up. A smile came to his face as he saw Barry. “Hey Red, feeling better?”

“Ya. I felt so bad with what you guys had planned and I ruined, so I decided to make it up to you guys. Where's Len?”

“Asleep on the couch. They called him into work today, doesn't happen a lot since he's in school, but he didn't have class today. I guess we both laid down and nodded off.”

“Can I wake him up?”

“Go ahead Barry.” The younger man walked over, kneeling down and shaking Len awake. The man moaned, looking up at his next victim for disturbing his sleep.

“Barry?”

“Hey Len. Are you ready for our date? You've got to bundle up.”

“What time is it?” Len groaned, looking at the clock on the wall.

“It's around eight.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Making up for last night. Grab a pair of skates and let's head to the rink. I'm going to show you guys how to ice skate.” Barry said, Len pushing himself up.

“Can we get food first, I'm hungry?”

“Ya, just get ready.”

“For the record, who do you think taught Lisa?” Len said, Barry rolling his eyes. Mick came up behind him, grabbing Barry's hand.

“You can teach me Red. I can't ice skate worth shit.”

“Okay Mick, go bundle up. You'll catch your death out there.”

“Ya ya.” Mick said, ascending the stairs with heavy steps. Len grumbled, getting up and chasing his boyfriend.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rush and brief chapter tonight. I had to work late and have to get up early so tomorrow's chapter will have more detail.

Barry sat in his room when Lisa walked in, shopping bags in her hands. Instantly Barry knew he wasn't going to get any homework done. “What's this for?”

“Valentine's dance is this Friday. We have to get clothes picked out.” 

“I might not go.” Barry said, crossing his legs.

“Why?” Lisa pouted.

“Len or Mick haven't asked me.”

“They're not the dance type. Why don't you ask them?”

“I don't know, I just don't want to make them go if they don't want to.”

“Asking can't hurt.” Lisa said, holding up Barry phone. Smiling Barry grabbed the phone, dialing his boyfriends.

“Mick?”

“Hey Mick. Do you and Len want to go to the Valentine’s dance?”

“I'll ask Len, but if you're asking me on a date I'm good for it.” Mick said, Barry smiling as he pulled away from the phone. Since they decided to go out Barry and his boyfriends have been on several dates, neither of them making and kind of move on Barry. “Len said he'll have to go pick up his suit from home, but he wants to go and, I quote, “Teach that boy to dance.” 

“Okay, I'll see you Friday?”

“You'll see me tomorrow babe.” Mick growled, Barry's spine chilling as there was a little arousal from the tone. His face flushed, Lisa smirking as Barry tried to hide his face behind his hand.

“Okay…bye.” Barry hung up, Lisa squealing. 

“What's he say?”

“He said they'd go, then he told me, “You'll see me tomorrow babe.”

“You're worked up, so cute. So I was thinking red looks good on you.”

“Like gold on you.” Barry said, smiling as the two dug through the bags. They sat talking for a little bit, Barry pulling out a red suit. An hour or so Barry and Lisa started talking about past dances.

“No, but Len was going to rip out the guy's teeth for standing me up. Instead he took me to the dance, I had the time of my life.”

“I wish I had a brother like yours, I wish I had a family like yours. Since I was homeschooled at the orphanage I never got to go.”

“I hope this will be the best dance of your life.”

“Only if you dance with me, got to dance with the prettiest girl to make my night.” 

“You're such a sweetheart Barry.” Lisa said, hugging Barry.

“Are you going to make me look cute?”

“You have that natural cute face Barry. Now how are we going to get those boys all hot and bothered.”

“Why? I'm not ready to have sex.”

“Oh sweet, innocent Barry. Love is war. Mick doesn't know it, but the moment he got you a little hot under the collar he started it. You're going to make them come begging you for sex.”

“Why's everything a competition for you?” Barry said with a smile. 

“I don't hear you disagreeing.”

“Let's do it.” Barry smirked, Lisa hanging up the outfits to pick out some.

 

Friday came too soon, Barry and Lisa had decided to meet up with their friends at the dance, Len and Mick were waiting outside with Cisco as the two walked to the recreations building of the college. “You look beautiful Lisa, as always.” Cisco said, Barry a little jealous of her and Cisco’s relationship, watching him wrap his arm around Lisa’s waist. “So, Mick said you'd teach me how to dance?” Barry said, Len and Mick holding out their arms. 

When they got inside it was filled with bodies, all slamming into each other as they thrashed around to the music. Raising a brow Barry pulled Len and Mick in closer. “Is this really dancing?”

“No, that's college kids with the mentality of high schoolers on alcohol from the spiked punch bowl.”

“I hope that's not what you're showing me.”

“Trust me, you don't need to be shown that.” Len turned Barry as they reached the edge of the dance floor, Cisco and Lisa already disappearing into the group. Barry saw Caitlin and Ronnie dancing off to the side of the group with Iris and Eddie beside them. Hands grabbing him around the waist Barry was turned, body pressed up against Len’s body. Mick came up behind him, pressing up against him, head resting on Barry's shoulder. Putting his hands on Len’s shoulders Barry felt swaying, his body melting as he let the two men move him. He felt Mick’s breath against the neck as he grinned he made Len’s hand fall down.

The danced like the for a while, the dance slowing down. Lisa came back over with Cisco, the others in their group joining them. They had just decided to walk to Jitter’s for some cool down shakes. The nine students were just walking in as some of the other freshman cleared out. As they walked down the street Lisa had been walking slower than the others because of her heels, Barry slowing down to walk with her, hands together as they talked about the night, Lisa a little disappointed at the lack of teasing. It'd been a nice cool down until they passed by a rowdier bunch of freshman. As they passed Lisa yelped, turning with a glare, causing the group to stop. Her face was red as she looked at Barry.

“He just grabbed my ass.” At this Cisco walked up next to her, glaring at the guy. 

“What the hell man, apologize!” He growled, Len grabbing his sister's arm. 

“I don't apologize to whores. She has this many guys on her arm?” The group of guys, Len eye twitched, Barry grabbing his hand.

“Let's just go.” Barry said, the group turning to walk away. When Barry went to turn to walk he saw the guy move, a loud smack resounding before he can move. Barry heard Lisa gasp and a pop as she fell against Cisco. 

“Son of a bitch!” Len growled, he and Cisco trying to help Lisa stand, Barry noticing tears running down the girl's cheeks. Barry's mind flashed back to the story of Len’s father and wondered if Lisa had been hit.

“Guys let's go.” Iris said, Cisco picking Lisa up, Mick holding Len back.

“Come on.” He whispered, the world around them going numb as the guys laughs echoed. It was then that Barry blacked out, his mind locking up and his memory going fuzzy.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already 12 chapters, how awesome is that. :) We're almost to the end.
> 
> I'll be starting another fic when this is done that may interest some.

“Barry? So what happened next.” Rip asked, sitting in his chair, legs crossed with his notebook out. Barry was sitting on the couch, snapping out of his trance when he heard his name.

“Sorry? Where'd we leave off.”

“You we're leaving the dance with your boyfriends and friends.”

“Right.” Barry mumbled. “We were going to Jitter’s to get milk shakes when this guy, Tony Woodward, grabbed Lisa’s ass. We were going to leave, but when Lisa turned he smacked her on the ass so hard she could walk. I don't remember what happened next. I came back to consciousness at the hospital. Mick was the only one there, Len and the others were with Lisa. She filled out an assault report and I guess she said I was protecting her so I guess it'd considered as self defense of another.”

“And this Tony kid? What happened?”

“I broke his jaw, that's what Mick said. I broke my arm in three spots beating on Tony.” Barry said, holding up his arm in the cast.

“Sounds as if your body went into autopilot.”

“I don't care. It's been nine days and Lisa, nor Cisco have come home. I haven't seen Mick and Len…hell anyone in nine days.” Barry said, laying down on the couch. “I screwed it up. Every time I went to Jitter’s I saw Iris and Caitlin, they rushed out seeing me. I've been calling Len and Mick, but no one's answering me.”

“What do you think you should do?”

“Transfer schools and see if I can live with the sisters if I help out.”

“Do you think you'd be happy?”

“I don't know what happy is. Lisa, my best friend in the whole world that would never judge me isn't picking up her phone. The sisters already knows about my temper…you don't think I'm a bother to them too?” Barry asked, Rip staring at him. “What?”

“Your progress was amazing, but after this one incident you're throwing in the towel.”

“I already filled out the form, I just need to turn it in.”

“So you'll be leaving behind your friends, your roommate, and your boyfriend?”

“Are they still considered that?” Barry asked, Rip remaining quiet. “Can I still come visit you?”

“Yes, every week. Do you need help packing?”

“No, I can pack myself.”

“Okay.”

“Why am I so angry Rip. Why?”

“It probably stems from your abandonment issues.”

“Rip, I've been abandoned again. It's obviously me.” Barry said, sitting up.

“I'm going to go home and go to bed. My new meds make me sleepy.”

“Alright Barry.” Rip said, sitting his notebook down. “I'll stop by later after I'm done working.”

“Thank you Rip.” Barry said getting up, Rip standing up. Suddenly he pulled Barry into a hug, much like he had before when Barry had been a child.

“It'll get better.” He said, patting Barry's back. Barry hugged back, hiding his face in Rip’s shoulder.

“Thanks for being there for me Rip.” Barry said, pulling away. He waved at Rip’s secretary as he left, the young woman waving back.

 

When Barry got home he was greeted by the smell of food. As soon as he shut the door Lisa came running to the door, a relieved look on her face. She wrapped her arms around him. “Finally! You weren't answering your phone. I was worried you'd left or got hurt.”

“I'm fine. Who's here?”

“Just Cisco. Mick and Len are in class…which you haven't been in. No one's seen you for a few days.”

“No one came looking either. Listen I'm tired so I'm going to go lay down.”

“Let's talk for a minute.” Lisa said, Barry sitting down on the couch, followed by Lisa. “I saw the transfer form. Are you really going back to Central?”

“Yah, I'm not making things here work.”

“Is Mick and Len alright with it.”

“After the other night they won't pick up my call. I'm sorry for flipping out, I didn't even know what happened.”

“You kicked Tony’s ass. Serves him right, I had a big bruise of his handprint on my ass, I still have it.”

“Lisa, I think I've been dumped.” Barry said, tears coming to his eyes. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I'll call the boys. They can come over and talk to you. You just lay down and take a nap.”

“Okay. Can you get me a blanket.” Lisa nodded, standing up. Barry laid down on the couch, body too tired to climb the stairs. Cuddling the pillow Barry didn't take long to nod off. When he woke fingers were raking through Barry’s hair. His glasses were gone.

“Hey there sleepyhead.” Barry moaned, grabbing the hand and holding it. “Not ready to wake up yet. I'll take you upstairs.” The voice said, Barry nodding back off.

In the kitchen Len stood with Cisco, Mick upstairs cuddling Barry while Lisa talked with a man that had come to visit Barry, his supposed doctor. Len watched the guy, not liking him the minute he walked into the house. “So Lisa mentioned that Barry's been shredding his parents letters. I know they don't get along, but isn't that a little severe.”

“Ya, he hasn't said anything to us.”

“Well it doesn’t help that all of us have been steering clear since Valentine’s”

“I know. I didn't know what to do.” Len said, sitting down at the island counter. “I'm not use to this many feelings. Mine and Mick’s ex’s never were this free with emotions.”

“Did you ever think maybe that's why your relationships don't work out? If you want to include Barry in your life then you have to open up to him. You won't get far with him if you don't, and Barry's already at his wits end.”

“You don't think he's going to really transfer do you? I know I'm not the best boyfriend in the world and I a bit controlling with Mick, but I know what is best for him, that's why we work the way we do.”

“Plan Barry a surprise party. He's probably not had a birthday, so throw him a surprise party with everyone.”

“Wait, when's his birthday?” Len asked, giving Cisco his undivided attention.

“March 14, he’ll be 19.”

“Shit. I'll get with everyone, we’ll give him the best birthday.” Len said, the stairs creaking as Barry came down the stairs, Len shushing Cisco as the young man saw Rip. Smiling Barry pulled him into hug, a bubble in his stomach rising. When Barry release him and saw Len Barry shuffled into the kitchen. Cisco left, Len smiling as he offered Barry the seat. They looked at each other for a minute, Barry nudging his boyfriend's hand. 

“Lenny, are we done?”

“Done? Like breaking up?”

“Ya.” Barry said, Len grabbing his good hand.

“I don't want to be. Do you?”

“No…but you wouldn't talk to me.”

“That's me being an idiot. From now on I'll be the perfect boyfriend.”

“Just average is fine.” Barry, leaning over and kissing Len on the side of the cheek. “Just never leave me alone like that again.”

“Scouts honor that I'll be with you a good portion of your day.” Rolling his eyes Len squeezed Barry's hand.

“How's your arm healing up?”

“Fine. I still can't do tests and notes.”

“We’ll help.” Len said hand reaching up and removing Barry’s glasses. “You're so adorable.”

“Shut up.” Barry grumbled, cuddling up against Len.

“Mick’s asleep upstairs, I think he's tuckered out.”

“Go get him and I'll make dinner.” Barry nodded, running. Ack up the stairs, Rip watching the interaction carefully.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes, I'm seriously falling asleep at the time of typing this. :)

Len loved when Mick’s mouth ventures down his body, keeping itself busy. Len loved the feeling especially when Mick buried himself in the inside of Len’s thigh, sucking little bruises into his flesh, lapping each and every one with his tongue. Len always thought he and Mick had the best sex together, even when another partner was involved. When past partners were included they messed up the chemistry. Some want fucked, others tried to top Mick without asking consent. Mick wasn't a bottom, and after that he would refuse to have sex with those partners, and Len often spent the night trying to relax Mick. Unlike popular Mick is the most loving person Len has ever slept with. He's passionate when he fucked Len, he was carrying, and he liked after sex cuddling. Len wasn't much of a cuddler, but he'd cuddle with Mick as long as he saw that smile on his face.

“What way do you want to do it tonight?” He looked up at Len, eyes wide and filled with hunger.

“I want to watch you tonight.” He purred, Mick climbing up to lean over his boyfriend. Mick towered over him, Len’s legs sprawled open on either side of Mick. Leaning over Mick claimed Len’s lip. The younger man didn't notice the movement Mick make until he entered Len. The younger let out a grumble, holding Mick tightly in his arms. The older hand his hands holding his legs open as he pushed himself all the way. For a moment the duo waited, Mick watching as Len’s breath calmed, his body relaxing.

“You good?”

“Ya.” Len said, pulling Mick into a kiss. The older growled, hungrily attacking Len’s mouth. Mick pressed his tongue in to explore the inside of the familiar, yet he felt like he discovered something new every time. He snapped his hips, Len breaking the kiss to gasp at the sudden movement, letting the breath out escape in a pleasurable moan. The older didn't give him a chance to recover before he began thrusting, gain a rhythm Len knew was going to be the end of him. “Mickey!” Len whined, his voice almost hitting the pitch of the bedroom door that had squeaked open that moment. Mick didn't stop, Len turning to see Barry for a moment before he slammed the door, Len groaning as he heard the footsteps head down the stairs. “We’re going to have to talk to him when we’re done.”

“I know.” Mick growled, Len hearing the little groan in his voice from frustration, probably from the fact Len’s attention was no longer on him.

“Take as long as you can.” Len purred, making Mick snicker.

 

When the two were finished they threw in their underwear, Len putting on his clothes, Mick staying in his underwear. They found Barry out on the couch, head in hands. They sat down, wrapping their arms around Barry. Since they'd gotten back together, after the dance incident, Barry has told Mick about being a virgin, he he thought it was precious. This was the first time Barry had seen them being intimate, Len a little worried on he was taking it. “Hey Bare?”

“Hm.” Barry hummed, staring at his feet.

“How are you doing?”

“I should have knocked. I'm sorry I ruined your guys’ time.”

“No, no. We should have locked the door. I forgot we gave you a key. Are you going to be alright?”

“Oh yah. Just give me a minute to erase that image from my brain.”

“We aren't that ugly are we?”

“Definitely not…oh my god.” Barry said, Len rubbing his back. “I've never seen another man naked…or sex.”

“Never? You've never watched porn when playing with yourself?” Mick said, trying to break the tension, but Barry went bright red.

“Bare?”

“I've never…played with myself.” 

“Your kidding.” Mick said, eyes widening, Len slapping his arm.

“I was raised not to…I-I just don't know how or what to do.”

“Hey, it's okay.” Mick said, rubbing circles into Barry's back. “Experienced guys are assholes anyway.” At this Barry cracked a smile, reaching over and grabbing his boyfriend's thigh. “I'm serious, do you know how many guys want me to bottom?”

“You?” Barry asked, looking up at the man with a puzzled look.

“Like a good five boyfriends tried to mount me like a horse, well this horse kicked back.”

“He's more like a pony.” Len whispered, kissing Barry's cheek. “Always wanting cuddles.”

“I didn't get mine! I want my after sex cuddles.”

“Cuddle Barry.” Len said, not a second later Barry was in Mick’s lap, the younger blushing.

“Fine, he's softer than you anyway.” Laying down Barry was on the edge of the couch, but in strong arms.

“Whatever, see if I care.” Len joked, getting up. “I got to go clean up, I got work in a couple of hours.”

“What?” Barry said, pouting.

“Yep, tonight's work night.”

“But…cuddles.”

“Dear god I got two of you now.” Len's said, walking over to the couch. Leaning over Len pecked Barry on the lips. “By the way, what did you want to talk about?”

“What?” Barry asked, confused as Mick’s hand fell to his ass.

“You came here to ask us something right?” For a moment Barry laid there, then he came rushing as he sat up.

“What are we doing for my birthday tomorrow? As a couple.” Len looked over Mick, the man staying silent.

“Um…what do you want to do?”

“I don't care, just us being together is already better than previous years.”

“Well…how about a movie. Dark room…plenty of time to break a kissing record.” Barry snickered at the idea. 

“Fine.” Barry smiled, kissing his boyfriend.

“You can stay if you want, Mick’s just going to do our sheets in the wash.”

“ I can help, Barry said, turning back to his boyfriend.

“Seriously?”

“Yah, I want to help out.” Mick sat up, a big smile on his face. Len shrugged, heading to the bathroom to get ready for his night.

Barry sat on the dryer, Mick throwing the bed sheets into the washer, Barry watching him carefully. When Mick started the washer he found himself in between Barry's legs. “What are you thinking about?”

“How built you look.” Barry said, looking up and down Mick’s body, the man still in his underwear. Mick smiled, leaning over and kissing Barry. The younger wrapped his arms around Mick’s shoulder, pulling the man deeper into the kiss. Mick didn't argue, pulling Barry in by the waist. They broke the kiss after a few seconds longer, Mick pressing his forehead against Barry’s forehead, smiling.

“What do you want to do for your birthday?”

“I don't know…what do you and Len usually do?”

“Have mind blowing sex and go to a special place.”

“Special place?”

“The first place we said we loved each other. I know it super cheesy and not what you expect from us, but-.”

“I think it's beautiful. Maybe we can have a place too.” Barry said, Mick smiling. “I'll take you out for your birthday, when is it?” Barry asked, Mick smiling.

“It's fine, we don't need to-.”

“I want to Mick.” Barry pouted.

“My birthday’s February 17th.” Barry's face immediately and he looked away.

“I missed it…because I broke Tony’s jaw.”

“It's okay, Len’s birthday is June 2nd. We can celebrate with him.”

“No, that won't work. Go get showered and dressed. We’re going out and celebrating.”

“Were?”

“Wherever you want.” Barry said, kissing Mick.

“And if I said a gay bar up on the square?”

“Then you better hurry.” Mick chuckled, pulling away and walking towards the door. Barry smiled, hopping off and following him.


	14. Chapter 14

Barry awoke late in the afternoon, in an empty bed. Len had knocked on the door, breaking his slumber. “Hey you. Wild night?”

“Ya, Mick got me drunk. Broke my vows to never drink again.”

“Oh you were loose last night. Guys we're grinding all over you, I had to keep you close.” Mick said as he walked into the bedroom, nicely showered and dressed.

“I think you drew blood when you bit me last night.”

“I didn't bite you. You were moaning my name though when some guy was.”

“Shit. No more drinking, I swear to god.” Barry said, getting up.

“Let's get you in the bath. You made a mess in the kitchen and need to clean it up.” Len said, walking over and pulling Barry into a kiss.

“Happy birthday babe.” Barry smiled, hugging Len. 

“Thank you Lenny.” Barry said, kissing him again. “Are we going to have fun tonight?”

“Oh yah. Get your cute ass in the shower and meet us in the kitchen, got to clean up before we start anything.”

“I'll be right out.” Barry said, walking to Mick. Without saying anything he pulled Mick down into a kiss, a hungry kiss that he probably didn't give him at the club. “If you guys need me I'll be out in a little bit. I can still taste the alcohol on my breath.”

“Okay we’ll be in the kitchen, starting the pick up.”

“Okay, can you bring me some clothes.”

“Ya.” Mick said, Barry walking across the hall. He didn't take long to shower and get ready. Through his whole shower Barry thought about the things he could do with his boyfriends, a smile growing wider at the thought of going to Central and partying a little, or a sit in movie night with make out sessions. Walking out into the living room Barry turned into the kitchen, bracing himself to see what his sleepwalking mess was this time. Flipping on the light, Barry jumped. Something popped, Barry was met with a group of people yelling at him.

“Happy Birthday Barry!” Barry wore a smile, looking at the small group of people. He saw an enormous cake and gifts in the kitchen, Barry wanting to devour the delicious looking desert. When he saw two women he almost didn't recognize them out of their habit uniform. 

“There’s our birthday boy.” Amaya said, walking over and hugged him, Courtney wrapping her arms around. 

“I wasn't expecting any of this, I've never had a party before.”

“Get use to it Barry.” Lisa said, the woman pulling away.

“How did you get these outfits passed by Thawne?”

“He doesn't know and doesn't need to.” Courtney winked.

“Sneaky.” Barry said, Rip walking up to him.

“We’ve been catching up, it's been awhile since we had a face to ladies.” Amaya nodded, still holding Barry's hands. Suddenly arms wrapped around Barry's waist, Barry looking back to see Mick. Len came up behind them, kissing Barry's cheek. 

“Aunt Amaya, Aunt Courtney. Theses are my boyfriends Mick and Len.”

“Please to meet you, Barry's so secretive we don't hear new developments.” 

“Trust me, we'll update you more than he will.”

A couple hours passed before a knock came to the door, Lisa opening the door to be greeted by an older man and his presumed wife. She invited them in, eyebrow raised at in confusion. As soon as Barry spotted them he dropped his glass he was drinking, luckily being a paper one.

“What are you doing here?” Barry asked, the room going quiet at the new people that enter. Barry's friends and boyfriends were confused while Rip, Amaya, Courtney, and Lisa were horrified.

“We were invited.” The man, Henry, said. 

“Get the hell out of here!” Barry yelled, Len grabbing his arm.

“You look just like my father.” The woman, Nora, said, a smile stretching from ear to ear. Reaching out she brushed her hand against his cheek. Barry stepped back, glaring at her. She looked sickly, the young man instantly knowing they weren't here to get to know him.

“Barry it's your parents.” Len said, Barry growling.

“I know who the hell they are. Why the fuck are they here.”

“Mick and I thought you'd like to make up with them.”

“Fuck that! I don't even know these people!” At this Len looked at his partner, whom shrugged.

“Lenny. Barry's parents put him up for adoption when he was a baby. He's not on good terms with them.” Lisa said, instantly Len knowing the mistake they had made.

“Barry we just want to talk to you. We want to get to know you sweetheart.”

“I don't want to look at you. Get out!” Barry yelled, Mick grabbing his hand. He could see the younger's eyes fill with tears.

“I think it's time you go.” Mick said, Henry giving him a glare.

“That is my son. I have every right to talk to him.”

“No you don't! Not in my house.” Len growled, pulling Barry up against him. “Get out.”

“We need to talk Barry. Please come by our hotel. We’re staying at the Hilton, room 724. Please come and talk to us.” With that Mr. and Mrs. Allen, Barry running to the bathroom as soon as the door clicked. Mick sent everyone home, taking care of his boyfriend as he threw up, the nerves being too much 

“We ruined your birthday Barry…we thought it'd be a nice thing.” Mick said as the sat in the front room, Barry leaned up against Mick as Len held his hand. They watch some show that was on, but could careless about what was going on.

“This was still the best birthday you guys…even if you invited them.”

“Will you tell us the whole story?” Len asked, leaning against Barry.

“Tomorrow…for right now I saw an amazing cake I want to dig into.” 

“I'll got get us some.” Len said, getting up. He was gone only for a minute, but Barry was so relieved when he saw him return, and not because he was carrying cake. In one slice was a candle, Len lighting it as soon as he divvied out slices. Barry made a wish, blowing out the candle. 

“Happy Birthday Red.” Mick said, kissing Barry's cheek. Len kissed the other side, leaving the young with a wide smile. Yep, this was the best birthday he had ever had. He'd deal with the other problems tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of update last night to those who were waiting on it. I'm working on another fic idea I'm sure you'll like.

Barry woke to the smell of food. He groaned as he pushed up off the couch, sliding off the couch, and walking to the kitchen. He yawned, walking in to see his boyfriends cooking. “What are you guys making?” The two turned, looking at the messy haired man.

“Making apology breakfast.” Mick said, placing a plate of pancakes on the island counter.

“Apology? About my parents?”

“Ya, we thought if you got to talk with them you'd get along with them. I should have realised from my own experiences that that's not always the case.” Len said, cooking eggs.

“You never told me about you, nothing big. Your moms told me about your dad briefly, but I don't know what exactly happened.”

“How about we sit down and eat, and then share our stories.”

“That's a great idea.” Barry smiled, pulling plates out of the cabinet for the three of them. Once they were done cooking the two men joined Barry at the island. “I'll start.” Barry said as Mick and Len dug into their food, eyes on them.

“When I a baby my mom and dad left me in a car on one of the coldest days of the years. My mom was an alcoholic, dad was unemployed. They saw it fit to give me up for adoptions. They gave me to Amaya, who practically raised me with Courtney. Even when I grew up I was still certain my parents were come and get me, it left me with abandonment issues that led to trust issues. Rip is my therapist, since I was a kid. He's helped me a lot over the years, like the cool uncle. I never got adopted, so Father Thawne saw it fit that I help out around the orphanage. He is a cruel man, often whacked my hands with rulers when I didn't do something right or misbehaved. I left when I turned 18, but also I got a check for my college. That's all they ever gave me…that and my baby blanket.”

“So you never had a family.”

“I have you guys, my friends, and your mom's.”

“We won't ever do that again.” Mick said, reaching over and grabbing Barry’s hand.

“I forgive you, you guys didn't know and thought you could fix our relationship. You just cared a lot.”

“We do care about you.” Len smiled, winking at Barry.

“Should I go visit them? See what they wanted?”

“Do you feel like you should?”

“I feel like they won't leave me alone if I don't. I don't want them in my life because they had so many chances to come back and get me, they just don't want me in their life.” 

“We’ll come with, that way you won't have to be alone.” Mick said, Barry smiling.

“Okay, let's go later on. After breakfast that is.” Len said, clearing his throat. “Okay so what did mom say?”

“Just that your dad was abusive.”

“Ya. What they don't is my dad owed some money to some people. Dad was a dirty cop, got into business with some guys he met. Well dad wanted to let the men use my sister for sex. My 15 year old, virgin sister was only a payment method to my dad. So I confronted him, we got physical. I woke up in the hospital with a concussion, dad was in jail. Lisa and moms don't know, so keep that a secret between us three.”

“No problem. I don't want to worry Lisa anymore.” Barry said, smiling at his boyfriend. “Thank you for opening up to me.”

 

“No, thank you.” Len said. The three finished breakfast, leaving to the hotel, pulling up a little after one in the afternoon. Barry walked up to the door, knocking on it hesitantly. The doors opened immediately, Barry greeted by his father. “Barry, I’m so glad you came. Come in, come in.”

“I’d like to stay out here. I need to know why you came back after so long and how I get rid of you.”

“We just want to get to know you.”

“Well I don't want to know you. Your had 17 years to get to know me. So what do you really want?” Henry stared for a moment, Nora walking up beside him. Henry stared back at her wife, who nodded. Barry noted that she didn't look as healthy, and actually didn't look like she was going to be able to stand for long. “Your mother needs a kidney transplant. We wanted to wait at a better moment to ask, but you’ve been avoiding us this whole time. We wanted to get to know you better before we asked you to get tested and see if you're a match.”

 

“So…if you didn't need my kidney would you have come find me?”

“Well...you’re our son, and what happened to us was unfair. After your mom got clean and I got a job we realised...what's the point. We figured you’d been adopted by then and we figured we weren’t ready to be parents, we proved that.”

“So, you got your life in order and decided you didn't want the kid you had and left him in a home, waiting for mom and dad to come get him? I waited 17 years in an orphanage…forced to clean dishes and everything else in fear of punishment. I have to take pills to sleep and for my anxiety! You guys ruined my childhood! All because you really didn't want me! I never had a family because of you! You should have aborted me because you know what!? I didn't care that daddy didn't have a job! I didn't care mommy hit the bottle too often! I cared that you didn't come back! That you didn't love me is what I cared about!” Barry screamed, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Everyone said that you loved me, that I was wrong. No I was right.”

“We’re here now son. We won't to get to know you, even if you're not compatible we want our son back.” Henry said.

“We can spend holidays together, we can talk.” Nora said, sitting in a chair by the door. “You're gay and we are proud of you, accomplishing what you have. You have two amazing boyfriends and we’d love to sit down and have dinner with all of you.”

“I don't. Here's the deal, if I screen positive as a match I'll give you a kidney, but you'll leave me the hell alone. You won't send letters to me or anyone I know, no more coming over to me. Zero contact. Even if I test negative these apply.”

“Barry.” Nora said, Barry sticking a hand up.

“I don't need you in my life like you didn't want me. If you don't leave me alone I will put out a restraining order if you come near me.” Nora opened her mouth to object, but Henry cut her off.

“Fine.” Nodding Barry turned and walked away, heading his mother yelled for him. Barry reached the car, Mick opening his door. He stepped out as tears came to Barry’s eyes. The younger ran into his boyfriend’s arms. Len got out, joining his boyfriends in a hug, hushing the younger as he cried.


	16. Chapter 16

Barry sat with his friends, talking about spring break ideas while drinking their coffee at Jitters. Iris had just gotten off and the grouped joined, ready to start a group study for their finals in a little over a month. Lisa had been freaked out and stress shopping, which Barry sent her back with her clothing, giving it the veto stamp. One thing Lisa loved about Barry was that ever since that one day he's always had her back. Barry had his own stress to worry about, even sitting with his friends cross checking answers. 

When his phone rang Barry jumped, heart beating fast as he jumped out of his seat, excuse himself. Len and Mick watched him as the others continued to work. Len and Mick tried to eavesdrop, but couldn't make out what Barry was saying. He hung up, walking back over to his boyfriends. Putting his hands on their shoulders he sat down between them. “Was that the doctor?” Len asked quietly, but Lisa heard, snapping her head over to Barry with concerned eyes.

“Ah, ya.” Barry mumbled, heads turning to him. Awkwardly Barry, picked up his pencil, trying to get back to work.”

“Are you alright?” Caitlin asked, Barry knowing she'd examine him if he didn't speak up. Sitting the pencil down Barry sighed.

“I'm fine. My mom needs a kidney and the doctor called to let me know i'm a match. They want me to come in for some more test later.”

“That's great news, so are you patching things up with?” Eddie asked, Barry shaking his head.

“I made a deal. I'd give a kidney and they stay the hell away from me. That's what they came here for, that way I don't have to avoid them.”

“It's sad.” Iris said, stirring her coffee. “I don't know where I'd be without my dad.”

“I'm better off without them.” Barry said, flipping a page in his book as Mick and Len grabbed his hands. “I've never had surgery before…can you guys be there? I don't want to go alone.”

“Of course Barry.” Ronnie said, Lisa getting up and hugging her friend. 

“It's gonna be okay. I'll get you so many flowers.”

“You know I hate flowers.”

“I know, that's why I'm getting you them.”

“Thank you Lisa.” Barry said, holding onto the arm.

“We’ll be waiting too Red.”

“Thanks Mick, you too Len.” Barry said, turning to face his boyfriend.

“You're sure you want to do this?”

“Ya. I just really want you guys there.”

“We’ll be there for you buddy.” Cisco said, Barry smiling.

“Do you want me to call our moms?” Lisa asked, still holding Barry.

“Yes please.” Barry said as he leaned against her arms, they made him feel safe.

“So when's the surgery?”

“Gotta be after finals, they'll have to work with me on it.” Barry said, Lisa sitting down on her brother's lap, Len grumbling, but holding her still.

“Well let's slay finals first.” Cisco said. The group went back to their work, Barry going to the doctor’s the next day. Unfortunately any medication Barry was on had to be stopped, so during trying Week Barry was a mess of anxiety and his sleeping was restless. Mick and Len made sure he stayed in the room.

Finally the day came, test were finished the day before, and Barry was terrified. He'd gotten undressed, put on a nightgown and was laying in bed, waiting till the doctor's came to get him. He was in the room with Mick, Len, and Lisa. The others were in the waiting room, unable to have more than three visitors on at a time. They talked, Mick and Len rubbing circles into Barry's hands, Lisa brushing his hair back. They'd been talking about summer plans when the doctors came in, Barry being whisked away after a kiss from his boyfriends.

It took a while, too long in Len’s opinion, Mick trying to calm him as Lisa sat with her mom's, laying her head on Cisco’s lap. “Do you guys want to come have a party with us this summer, after Barry’s nice and healed? Maybe stay the summer?” Christina asked, Len looking at his mother.

“Ya. I'm sure Barry would love that.” Len said, Mick sitting him down. It wasn't long after they started planning that the doctor came out, Len and Mick jumping up from their seats. “Is he okay!?” Len yelled, panic in his face until the man smiled.

“He's fine. The surgery went perfectly, he's actually awake if you want to see him.” 

“Ya.” Len said.

“Okay, two at a time. He's on morphine so he'll probably ramble a bit.”

“Go guys.” Lisa said, Len and Mick following the doctor immediately. Barry wasn't far away, when they got there Barry was looking at his hand.

“Mr. Allen, you have visitors.” Turning his head, a sloppy smile coming to his face.

“Mickey! Lenny!” The two came to sit next to him, Barry grabbing Mick’s hand. “Mick! Mick guess what!?”

“What Red?” Mick smiled, Barry giggling.

“I love you Mick! I love Lenny too! You guys are the bestest!” Smiling Len stood, peeling away the nightgown to see the incision. It was going to take a while before Barry would be up and around.

“Oh Red, just wait till the drugs wear off. I don't think you want our special place to be the hospital.”

“I just want you to know.”

“We know.” Len said, turning back to face the doctor. “How long will he have to stay?”

“Two-three weeks in the hospital, a couple more before he's should walk around.”

“We’re gonna stay with him for a bit.”

“Take your time.” The Doctor smiled, Mick nudging Len. The younger turned to see Barry out cold. “Let us know when he's awake and not drugged up.”

“Alright, no problem.” Len took his seat, watching Barry breath in and out calmly .

“Would you like to know about Mrs. Allen?”

“No. They also aren't allowed in here, I'm not sure if Barry told you.”

“Yes, he informed us.” Len nodded, the doctor leaving as Len rested his head on Mick’s shoulder, Barry’s hand in his. For now they could only watch.


	17. Chapter 17

Barry had been released from the hospital after two weeks of being treated. He currently laid in his bed, Len and Mick sleeping on his futon, Lisa and Cisco down the hall. Barry had been napping when a tap on his arm. Opening his eyes he was met with Mick, carrying a tray of food. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, nowhere ready to risk walking yet thought.”

“That's okay.” Barry looked over at the futon, Len laying under the sheets, butt naked. Barry smiled, wishing the futon was closer so he could listen to them sleep. 

“Can you guys move closer? I hate being so far away.”

“Ya. I'll move it when Leonard wakes up.” Mick said, sitting down on Barry's bed, tray on his lap. “He's in worse condition than you I think. Hasn't been sleeping well.”

“Did you wear him out while I was asleep?” At this Mick smirked, getting a smile out of Barry. “That's good. That means he'll have a nice sleep.” Barry watched the older man snuggle up in the sheets.

“He's adorable. I love him.” Mick said, scooping up some pudding in a spoon, feeding Barry.

“You're taking care of both of us, so when I'm healed up I'm going to give you the best massage.”

“Red don't.” Barry stuck a finger to Mick’s lips, smiling.

“Don't tell me what to do.” Mick chuckled, silence following as he finished feeding Barry, the younger talking a little with him before going back to sleep. Len was still out cold, Mick opting to go out grocery shopping. He was on his way out when he got a phone call from the station that there was a reported fire downtown. Mick went to the station instead. An apartment building had been engulfed by flames and uninhabitable after the fighters had doused the flames. He returned home, forgetting all the groceries and ready to go to bed. When he walked in Mick was pulled into a hug, his muscles screaming at the contact.

“Oh my god Micky! I saw the news and was worried.” Len cried, the older wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

“I'm fine, just exhausted.”

“I've got dinner ready, how about you go take a shower and I'll bring food.”

“How's Barry?”

“Asleep.” Len said, Mick nodding. 

“I'll leave the door unlocked.” With that Mick went to the bathroom, relaxing his screaming muscles. All he needed was the night to relax.

 

Several weeks had passed, Barry up and walking around like normal, helping pack for their summer vacation. Everyone was going to Central to party at Len’s and Lisa’s home, Barry planning to visit the sisters. He still had at least a month to spend on vacation before they all had to come back for school. He was ready to spend it with his new family. When they had reached the home Barry was greeted with hugs and kisses to the forehead, Barry happy to see the two mothers.

“How's our baby doing?”

“Better. I had the stitches out last week.”

“That was a brave thing you did, even if they weren't worth it.” Sherri said, pulling up Barry shirt to see the scar.

“Mom!” Len yelled, carrying the bags in. He'd seen Sherri looking at the scar and was embarrassed for Barry.

“It's fine Lenny.” Barry said, kissing his boyfriends cheek as he passed by.

“Now you can say that you had your kidney stolen by black market people.” Christina said, Lisa hugging her mothers as the other two men emptied the car.

 

“Mom, everyone will be here tomorrow, but it looks like it's going to storm so I'll clean the pool tomorrow.”

“Alright sweetheart.” Sherri said, Barry looking over at the storm clouds.

“I hate storms.” He mumbled, Mick looking over at the clouds.

“Don't worry Barry. You have me to protect you from the cloud monsters.”

“That's alright with me.” Barry said, the group following them inside. Dinner wasn't made long after, Barry helping the women happily, the other four setting the table. They sat in silence as they ate, other than Cisco’s sounds he made of pure food ecstasy. Christina spoke up towards the end, Sherri’s face dropping as she spoke.

“So your father called use a few weeks ago.” Len's hand froze for a moment before resuming its action. 

“What did that asshole want?”

“To talk to you. He's out on parole.” Lisa looked over in fear, gripping Cisco’s hand, Barry grabbing Len's shaking one as Mick rubbed up and down his thigh. The rest of dinner finished awkwardly, Len going to bed, Barry sleeping next to the bed, on Lisa’s futon. The storm passed long ago, Mick was out cold, but Barry could tell Len was overthinking. Sighing Barry climbed into the bed, saddling Len on the stomach, the older groaning at the sudden wait.

“What are you doing?”

“Stop thinking and sleep. Your dad’s a nutjob. Don't worry about it.”

“I'm worrying what will happen to you?”

“Nothing, do you want to know why?” Barry asked, Len rubbing up and down Barry's thighs as he stared up at him.

“Why?”

“Because Mick’s intimidating and I broke Tony’s jaw. If he wants to fuck with you I'll shape him like a pretzel.” Len smirked, helping Barry off and back down into the futon. “Stop worrying and go to sleep babe. Stop making me worry.” Len smiled nodding as he stared at the ceiling.

“You as well.” Len said, closing his eyes and ready to rest his exhausted body.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of chapters and the lengths of them. I am currently exhausted, but I promise more updates, :)

Barry had been doing the dishes as they came to him, the kitchen stuffed full of people as everyone tried to prepare for dinner for their guests. Mick had Skyped his parents when they'd gotten settled in, Len walking up behind him and waving to the two adults. He chattered with them, gaining Barry's interest enough for him to walk over and look over at who Mick was talking to. When they saw him a wide smile came to their faces. Mick had told them about him, hell Barry doesn't think he took a moment to shut up about him. In the end they were invited to dinner tonight, Barry a little anxious to meet his boyfriend's parents. Barry took a break from dishes, stepping outside the house for fresh air, maybe call Rip to have their appointment early. Suddenly arms wrapped around him, a mouth kissing him on the neck. Barry smiled, letting the man rock him.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Just trying to cool off. I'm nervous.”

“You’ll do fine. My mom and dad will love you.”

“I know, but what if I screw up talking to them? What side of politics are they on? Do they like sports? Do I talk too much? Should I talk more? What interest do they have?”

“Barry, Barry. Calm down. My parents aren't ones to talk about political or religious views. My dad is a paramedic and my mom's a teacher in Starling City. They will talk to you, but once they see you're harmless they'll love you.”

“Thanks Mick.” Barry said, calming down. He tilted his head back against Mick’s chest, a smile on his face as his boyfriend stole a kiss. “I love you.” Barry said, Mick chuckling at his boyfriend.

“I know, you told me when you were on morphine.”

“Doesn't mean I didn't mean it.”

“Hate to break it to you Red, but I never believe something someone says under the influence of drugs.” Barry smiled, Mick kissing him again.

“So where's our better half?” 

“He's washing his jeep, his preferred summer vehicle.” Mick said, Barry pulling away. 

“Let's see if he needs a hand.” Mick nodded, grabbing Barry's hand and walking with him over to the garage . The jeep was pulled out into the driveway, blue shining from the sun's rays hitting it. Barry spotted Len, wearing a gray wife beater and tight navy denim jeans. Len was hunched over the hood, scrubbing away at it, headphones in. Ever since he'd heard about Lewis getting out Len had been a little withdrawn from things. He wasn't sleeping naked like he usually did, Barry concerned about him, and he was sure Mick was too. Smiling Barry walked up behind his boyfriend, Len not even noticing as he moved around, his ass displayed temptingly to Barry. The younger snuck up behind his usually aware boyfriend, Mick watching as Barry grabbed Len by the hips, pulling him back to press against his groin. Len paused, removing his headphones, smiling as he turned to look back.

“You don't want you parents seeing us like this Mick.” He said before spotting Barry, Len actually surprised to see Barry doing something out of his usual personality.

“Wrong boyfriend.” Barry said, Len smirking, deciding to mess with Barry a little, rubbing his ass against Barry's crotch.

“The other ones right here, kind of proud of his younger one.” Len turned, pulling Barry in by the belt loops with his soapy hands. They were pressed up close together, Barry bringing his hands and cupping Len’s cheeks.

“What's going on in your head right now?”

“The fact that I need to go to town and get things for tonight and I don't want to take the bus.” Barry said, smiling at his boyfriend.

“You could have just asked.”

“And pass up the chance to touch your ass.” Barry said, Len smiling as he pulled Barry into a kiss. Mick smiled, watching his boyfriends.

“You can touch it whenever you want, or anything else you want.” Len said, smiling over at Mick. “You'll always have my consent.”

“You guys should get going. Mom and dad will be here soon.” Barry turned, pouting at the older man.

“You're not coming?”

“Nah, I gotta go clean up some stuff before my parents see it.” Mick said, walking over and kissing Barry and Len on the forehead before walking away. “Be safe!” He yelled around the corner.

“Go ahead and climb in. I'll wash the car down and we’ll be on our way.” Len said, Barry smiling, hugging his boyfriend. “What?”

“I love you.” Barry said, Len freezing for a second. Looking down he caught Barry's eyes, his sincere eyes. Slowly a smile crept on his face and Barry was pressed up against the jeep as Len kissed him. Barry smiled, kissing back as Len fought his way into Barry’s mouth.

“I love you.” Len said as he pulled away, kissing Barry's cheek. “I love you.” On the nose. “I love you.” He said, kissing Barry's neck. He pulled away, letting Barry free much to the man's dislike. “Get your cute ass in the jeep. I'll be in in a second.” Nodding Barry ran over and climbed into the passenger side, Len washing the soap from him vehicle before climbing into the jeep. 

“Where to?”

“Walmart, I need to grab party things.”

“Alright, let's trying and hurry.” Len said, Barry looking around the vehicle. He took in the spacious back seat, Len watching him as the drove off. “What?”

“I want to have sex in here. Can we?” Barry looked to Len, the man watching the road with wide eyes. “I'll clean it up.” Barry said, with a pout, Len taking breaks to look at him. “You want to pop your cherry in the back of my jeep?”

“No…just want to have sex in the back of your jeep.” Len let out a laugh, making Barry pouting more.

“If you really want to have sex in the back of my jeep you have to help me clean her.”

“Yes!” Barry said, pecking Len’s cheek. The rest of the ride was filled with cuddling, but not long enough since Len drove up to the nearest Walmart, dropping Barry off so the boy could go get what he needed. Barry hadn't wanted to tell them, he wanted to surprise his boyfriends for Len’s belated birthday, Barry's body finally healed and he was ready for the next step. So here Barry stood, at the Walmart pharmacy section, looking at lives and condoms, unsure of what was the best kind. He'd snooped through Len’s drawers and found two boxes, different sizes. It got Barry thinking what size he’d fit into. It had been a time tasking job, not to mention embarrassing enough until the older man from the isle over joined Barry's side and looking around.

“Girlfriend?” He asked, surprising Barry. 

“No…boyfriends.”

“Two? Doesn't that make you a whore of some sort?” The man said with a chuckle, Barry glaring.

“Makes me a sincere and loyal partner. What do you want?” The man turned to face Barry, a letter in his hand.

“You know Leo right? You were in his jeep when you pulled up.”

“Who the hell are you?” Barry growled, the man shoving the letter into the young man's hand.

“If he doesn't get it, I'll be back.” Barry swallowed as the man left, the card just read, “Lewis” on the front. Barry didn't deny the idea that this was their father…so he had the cashier dispose of the letter, getting the stuff he came for.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow I'll be posting the be fic I think a lot will enjoy.
> 
>  
> 
> Update: I have added on to the end of the chapter.

When Barry and Len returned home they seen the new car and immediately know that Mick’s parents arrived before they did. Sneaking in Barry managed to go upstairs, hiding his bag under the bed and changing his clothes before running back downstairs. The party of people was now located in the living room, the two new people facing towards Barry, but hadn't noticed as they talked with Len’s mom's. Sneaking up behind his boyfriends Barry grabbed their hands Barry listened to them talk. A few minutes passed before the woman's eyes looked over to Mick, spotting Barry.

“There he is!” She yelled, jumping to her feet. Barry smiled as he held out his hand, shaking Mick’s father's hand as he approached, his mother pulling Barry into a hug. “What's your name honey?”

“I'm Barry, well that's just a nickname, but i prefer Barry.”

“I'm Victoria, this is my husband Aldo. Mick hasn't told us much about you.”

“It's not his fault, I'm usually a quiet and closed off person. I'm glad I can meet you both.”

“Oh we have to sit and get to know you more. Tell us about you.” Victoria said, pulling Barry down to the couch.

“Mom.” Mick grumbled as she pulled a book from her bag. The two adults looked at their son, raising a brow. “Dinner first.”

“Oh yes. Then we have a photo album of Mick you have to see.”

“Oh my, we have pictures of Lisa and Len we need to show you.” Sherri said. “Len had so much baby fat it was too cute.” 

“I want to seen them.” Barry said, taking Mick’s family album.

“After dinner Barry.” Mick said, trying to swipe the book. Barry held the book to himself, smiling up at his boyfriend. They moved to the dining room, Barry sharing his story with Mick’s parents, leading them to open the books at the table, dinner leftovers put away for the next day. Sherri had brought out two books, Barry flipping through the books. He saw one of Len and Lisa on Halloween, Lisa was a golden fairy and Len was a pumpkin, his cheeks chubby and tinted pink.

“Here's one of Mick’s younger Halloween’s. He wanted to be Cinderella.” Barry looked at the picture, a smile climbing on his face as he saw a young boy in a Cinderella dress, hair in a bun, and makeup on his face. 

“This is precious.” Barry said, looking back at Mick.

“Please, I was the fattest Cinderella.”

“You were not.” Len said, tracing the picture.

“Worst Halloween ever.” Mick said, Barry turning the page.

“Was that the one those kids wrecked your costume and stole your candy.”

“They were brutal.”

“Poor baby cried all night until we bought him some candy.”

“They were some rich pricks. Hated Starling.” Mick said, Barry bursting out laughing as he looked at a picture of Mick flipping off the camera, obviously going through his rebellious stage. He'd slimmed down a lot since the previous pictures.

“Oh yeah, those were the years we met, I think there's some of us in here.” Len said, flipping through his own. Barry caught the pictures of them kissing, then embarrassed that they'd been caught. Len had hair, curly black, Mick spiked dark brown. 

“You guys were adorable.” Barry said, pulling out his wallet. He pulled out a folded polaroid from behind Barry's ID.  
Unfolding it he placed down the picture. It had been taken with the sisters, the only time he had been happy. “I was probably…13 years old when they took this. It was when there was a family that wanted to adopt me. This was my last day at the orphanage.”

“What happened?” Len asked

“They decided they weren’t ready for me. The sisters made me feel better though.” 

“Their lose.” Mick said, Barry looking up and smiling.

“Can I keep these books? I just want to look them when I have more time.”

“Go ahead, we’ll get them when you come and visit for Christmas.” 

“Where do you guys live?”

“We moved back to Starling after Mickey started college. Central’s Mickey’s home, Starlings ours.”

“Sad you live so far away.”

“We visit when we can, have regular video chats. Mickey’s always keeping us up…well that is till we saw you on the video chat.”

“I told you it's a recent development.” Mick said, wrapping his arm around Barry's waist.

“Just update us more son. Text us.”

“I will dad…are you guys staying the night?”

“No, we have a hotel in town. We’re staying for a few days so how does going out together sound? We can rent a boat and go out skiing.”

“I'm not much for unmelted water, how about Lisa and I teach your son how to properly ice skate. Our last trip he was clinging to me.”

“I need a picture of that.” Victoria said, Mick looking at Barry with a sassy face.

“We should be getting over to the hotel, we have to check in still.” Aldo said, standing.

“I'll see you out.” Mick said, standing and helping his mother up.

“Yes it's late, we should all head to bed if we have plans tomorrow.” Christina said, clapping her hands together.

“I'll clean up the table mom.” Len said, standing, Lisa following after. Cisco stood, helping Len clear the table.

“It was nice to meet you both, I look forward to tomorrow.” Barry said, last to stand. Mick’s parents nodded, Victoria leaning over and pecking his cheek.

“Have a nice night sweetie.” 

“You too Mrs. Rory.” Mick led his parents out, leaving the rest of the group. “Hey Lisa.” The girl shot her head up, Barry signaling towards the stairs. “I got you something, come on.” The two friends snuck away, heading upstairs to the boys room. Barry shut the door before pulling the bag out from under the bed.

“What's in the bag? Lotion?” She said, Barry pulling out earplugs.

“I have condoms and lube in the bag.”

“Oh my god Barry, that was the one thing I don't want to hear about.”

“Wait, listen.” Barry poured as Lisa turned to walk out. “I've never done this before…I don't know if I got the right stuff.”

“You think I know they guys’ dick sizes?”

“Well…I was hoping you've looked through their stuff.”

“Of course I do. What sizes did you get?”

“Um, large and extra large.” Barry said, his cheeks pink.

“The large are too small for them, but they'll fit you fine.”

“How do you know? I don't have these at home.”

“I've seen you naked Barry…you're a large.” Barry rolled his eyes, a smile coming back as he thought of the beginning of the school year. Lisa had wanted into this sorority, but initiation night she was warned to come naked. Being the great friend he followed Lisa out to the woods, the girls ditching her to find her way back home, butt naked. It was only fair Barry joined in the embarrassment. That was their little secret, not even Cisco knew.

“So what should I do?”

“Dress sexy, they should be up soon?”

“I don't have sexy clothes.” Barry pouted, Lisa smiling and shaking her head.

“You remember your prize for initiation night?”

“Those panties? I gave them to you.”

“I never wore them, I knew you'd need them.” Smiling the two started laughing, Barry kissing Lisa’s forehead.

“I love you.” He said, the girl holding him tightly.

“I love you too Barry.” She said back, hugging Barry tightly. “If Rip doesn't give you away can I?”

“What?” Barry mumbled, Lisa snuggling up against him.

“When you marry my dumb, jerkface brother and Mick. You need someone to give you away right? Rip’s like your dad/brother/uncle, so if he doesn't want to can I give you away?”

“Only of they say yes.” Barry smirked, Lisa rolling her eyes. 

“Of course they'll marry you, have you seen your ass. You're basically married to them already.” Shaking his head Barry and Lisa sat like that for a few minutes, that is till Cisco came looking for them.

 

Barry had woken up sore, but feeling liberated from his stressed and worries. Last night Mick and Len showed passion, the way they treated him with light touches, but rough touches when Barry wanted. They were gentle with human, letting him tell them what he wanted. Smiling Barry started his day before anyone else, cleaning up from last night get together. They had plans to go ice skating today, so he decided to get a head start. He'd gotten a good start, making breakfast when a pounding knock came to the door. Raising a brow Barry looked at the time, knowing it was too early for the Rory's. He walked over to the door after turning the stove off. Opening it his smile fell, the person smiling at him.

“Hello Barry.” He said, a second later Barry had pain in his head, his body hitting the ground. The thud was loud, Barry wanting to scream, but a kick to his stomach canceled that thought out. “Now what did I say would happen if you didn't give my boy that letter.”

“Fuck off.” Barry grumbled, another kick came to his ribcage. Barry let out a grunt, a squeaking coming from upstairs.

“I lost men last night because you didn't give my ungrateful son a fucking letter. You need to learn you place as a whore.” Lewis growled, sitting down on Barry’s chest, wrapping his hands around the young man's throat. Barry couldn't scream, his hand trying to claw off Lewis’. He heard screaming, and then Lewis’ weight was gone. Barry sat up, coughing. arms around his shoulders, Barry looking back to see Lisa, fear in her eyes, Cisco holding onto her. Mick had Lewis pinned face down, sitting on his back as Len stood behind the couch, fear in his eyes. 

“Lenny.” Barry mumbled, leaning forward as he tried to stand, hitting the ground with a thud. That snapped Len out of it, running to his boyfriend's side.

“I got you Bare.” He said, Christina walking into the room with a frying pan, Sherri close behind with a small knife.

“Hi.” Barry mumbled, resting against Len. 

“That whore of yours needs the shit kicked out of him. He needs to be shown his place.”

“You don’t touch them.” Mick growled, slamming Lewis’ head into the ground.

“What are you going to do big guy, squish me with your lard.” Mick growled, eye twitching at the comment. Christina glared, walking over to the man pinned down. 

“Shut it you old, shriveled man.” Christina growled, bringing the frying pan across the man's head. Len flinched, Barry holding his boyfriend.

“It's okay.” Barry whispered, kissing Len’s forehead. Lewis’ head hit the ground, Mick climbing off of him.

“I'll call the cops.” Sherri said, Len watching his father, Lisa clinging to Cisco. Mick walked over to Len and Barry, Mick checking out Barry’s throat. When he decided that Barry wasn't in any harm he pulled both men into a hug. 

The cops came and took Lewis away, Mick calling his parents to let them know what happened. The whole time Len hadn't said anything, just stared at a blood spot from his father's head. Everyone seemed to have calmed down except him, which concerned Barry and Mick. The two took their boyfriend upstairs, laying Len in bed. It took a few hours but Len snapped out of it. When he came to, he was snuggled up in a hug from his two lovers.

“Hey, you back with us?” Mick whispered, Len looking over at his older lover.

“Ya. Sorry Mickey.”

“It's okay. You worried Barry the most.” Mick looked down, noting the boy asleep on Len’s lap. Len brushed his hand through Barry's hair, smiling at the young man.

“He's so cute. How's his neck?”

“He'll be fine.” Mick said, grabbing Len’s hand, leaning over and kissing his boyfriend.

“I think we owe Barry a day out.” Len said.

“A day out and great, mind blowing sex.” The boy on Len lap said, eyes still shut, but a big smile on his face.

“Well, I guess we better get started.” Len said, suddenly pulling the blanket over them. Barry scurried up, sitting in Len’s lap. A moment of silence passed in the dark, Mick pulling Barry into a kiss.

“So is my dad gone?”

“He's back in jail, this time for a lot longer.” Mick said.

“Good, let's just never talk about that bastard again. Hell don't even say dad anymore, he ruined that word for me.”

“No problem babe.” Mick said, Barry smirking.

“Or I can call you daddy and make it a better word for you.” Both men stared at Barry with wide eyes, the young man blushing nervously. “Or not.”

“No, we can. I just never picked you as having a daddy kink.” Len said, Barry smiling.

“I have to have a father figure in my life somehow." At this the two men laughed, making Barry smile. Bringing his hands up he caressed both their cheeks. “I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too Barry.” Both men said, taking Barry's hands and kissing them. 

Barry never expected college to turn out like this…and he still has two years at least to go.


	20. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I've been thinking of how to finish this story and I decided, the beginning would be best.
> 
> I'd also like to point out I added on to chapter 19.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this last chapter and enjoyed the story.

Today was the day that he'd be free. Free from Central City, on his way to make his own future. Keystone University. Barry was going for a degree in forensic science. As he walked into the school he was intimidated, seeing people walking with their friends. Barry pushed up his glasses, walking towards the school's east wing. He saw his class location during orientation, but that didn't stop the anxiety and thoughts that came with it. He found his class, sat there for about an 30 minutes for an introduction to class lecture, going over the syllabus and introducing themselves. No one looked at him any differently, though he didn't have much to say.

All his classes went like that, promise of real work starting the next scheduled class day. That was just his first three classes, he still had another the next day. After school he had practice. It was easy like the rest of the school day, easy. Just a skating day, tryouts coming up the following week. He noticed her instantly, her instantly, blue eyes like the sky, her hair looked caramel brown as the lights hit it. What caught his attention was the proud and confident smile she wore as their coach spoke.

No he didn't speak to her, not till after practice, at the campus coffee shop. His roommate, Cisco, had suggest that he tried this new shake. He's heard this man talking to her and her friend so vulgarly and he knocked the guy out. He’d learned their names, them learning his. He'd escorted the girls home, well Lisa’s home that she shared with her brother and his boyfriend. Unfortunately she hadn’t gotten a key made yet and her brother wasn't home. She wanted to wait with Caitlin for the two other men to get home, but Barry could tell she was already uncomfortable with the new development of her short skirt, Barry watching her tug it down ever so often. He'd offered them to stay at his place till her brother, which Lisa jumped at. She sent her brother a message and the three were off on the bus. When they reached Barry's apartment he saw Cisco home, so he felt better having strangers over. He didn't even know why he offered, his best guess was that he was taught to see the good in people.

“Hey Barry! How does takeout sound for dinner!? I may have burned the pasta!” Cisco came running out of the smoking kitchen. When he saw the two girls he stopped in his tracks. He pointed to Caitlin, a big smile on his face. “Physics with Professor Stein.” Barry watched as Caitlin smiled, nodding.

“Right. Cisco.”

“Ya, you're Caitlin right.”

“Yes I am.” She said, Lisa looking Cisco up and down, the other man looking over at her. He froze in place, Barry and Caitlin staring awkwardly.

“Cisco?” Barry said, his roommate looking at him. “They're going to stay with us till her brother gets out of class.”

“No problem. My names Cisco Ramon.” Cisco said, holding out a hand.

“Lisa Snart.” She said, shaking Cisco’s hand, winking at him. Barry disappeared, Caitlin sitting down on the couch. When Barry returned Lisa and Cisco were talking, Caitlin watching TV and texting someone. He carried one of his flannels to Lisa, breaking the duos chatting.

“You can wear this around your waist if you want.” Lisa smiled, taking the flannel and wrapping it around her waist.

“Thank you Barry.” 

“No problem. So you said take out?” Cisco smiling wide.

“Yeah. Let me get the phone.” 

Dinner came and went, the four college students talking about their courses and other general things. It was around seven at night, the sun beginning to set when a knock came to the door. It was frantic, Lisa jumping up.

“That's Len.” She said, walking to the door and opening it. Barry stood, deciding he'd meet this famous brother she told him about. She was talking as he walked up, Barry catching sight of the two men standing in his doorway. “Barry, this is Lenny my brother and his boyfriend Mick.” Len looked like he was going to scream at her, but relieved at the sight of his sister. The man looked at Barry with a glare, trying to intimidate Barry. The man had nothing on Father Thawne’s glares. 

“You don't go to a stranger's house Lisa.”

“Don't be an ass. Barry gladly took us to his home to wait for you. He and Cisco are nice.”

“Until they get into your pants.”

“Trust me, I don't want near anything in their pants.” Barry said, blushing as Cisco snorted. Len just glared, Lisa holding her hands up.

“Barry's gay Lenny. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself.”

“Let's just get home. What the hell are you wearing?” 

“A fashion disaster, but Barry's letting me borrow his flannel till I can change."

“It's nice to meet you.” Barry said, Mick smiling at him. Len just glared, Barry rolling his eyes at him.

“You go to the uni kid?” Mick asked, Barry nodding. “We’ll see you around.”

“Yeah…I'll see you guys.” Barry said with a smile, Len already pulling Lisa and Mick towards the car.

“We have a study group on Friday, come join us Barry.” Lisa said as she was dragged to the car. He waved to her, Caitlin following after them, saying her thanks to the roommates. Barry shut the door, looking at Cisco.

“They were hot.” He muttered, Cisco rolling his eyes playfully.

“Sadly taken, you think I can score a date with Lisa?”

“You can try.” Barry said, cleaning up from dinner. He was ready to get started in college, ready to make friends, maybe a boyfriend. Sadly his new crushes are off limits, but that won't discourage Barry on finding a guy who likes him, after all school is just like a drama.

There alway that one couple in school that everyone knows about, those two people that are so good together that everyone knows about that. For Barry, that wasn't him. That was his roommate's, soon to be, girlfriend’s brother, or otherwise known at Leonard Snart and his boyfriend Mick Rory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do have another nightly update story I'm working on, feel free to let me know what you think.
> 
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> "Howl and I'll Hear You."


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